


New Beginnings

by lastweekon



Category: Ghost Adventures (TV)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, M/M, Paranormal, Paranormal Investigators
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-19
Updated: 2017-03-10
Packaged: 2018-09-09 17:42:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 29,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8905432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lastweekon/pseuds/lastweekon
Summary: Zak is looking for a fresh start in a new city, but when he meets Nick, he gets a little more than he bargained for.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back with another NAK origin story! This one will be on the longer side. I'll post as often as I can! Hope you enjoy it!

It was cold tonight. Colder than Zak had expected, and he shoved his hands deep into his pants pockets as he made his way down the snow-slick sidewalk. He’d woken up to the first dusting of snow that morning. It seemed early in the year for snow, but then again, this was his first winter on the East Coast. 

He admired the way the fresh coat of white brought the world to life. The streetlights reflected off every surface, brightening the night around him. It was pretty, and he figured he could handle the way his feet struggled for traction with every step. It seemed like a fair tradeoff. He made a mental note to track down the box he’d packed his winter boots in when he got home. 

He checked the time, rushing a bit when he realized he was running late. But a quick check of the address told him he wasn’t far. Sure enough, he spotted a group a few storefronts over, huddled together in the cold, talking and laughing amongst themselves. The sound made him homesick. He knew it was stupid, but he couldn’t remember the last time he’d joked or laughed with anyone. Hell, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d had an actual conversation, but he was pretty sure it was back home in Chicago. 

He knew moving was going to be hard. But he never expected to feel so totally and completely alone. What made it worse was knowing that he couldn’t call the one person that used to make everything better. He shook his head. He didn’t want to think about that right now. No. Tonight he was getting out of the house and trying to meet some new people. 

He made his way toward the group, assessing the situation as he approached. From what he could tell, it looked like everyone was there with at least one other person. He knew it was a long-shot, but he’d really hoped there would be one other person there by themselves. He really wasn’t very good at striking up conversations with strangers, especially groups of them. 

He could feel himself chickening out already. He could just keep walking. No one would even notice. He could go back to his apartment, watch a movie and finish unpacking. But he knew he’d regret it if he did. As uncomfortable as this experience might be, it beat another night alone. And he’d already paid for it, so there was no point in backing out now. 

He took a deep breath, plastering a friendly smile on his face as he walked over to a couple, standing quietly huddled together in the cold.   
“Hi!,” he said brightly, “Is this the Haunted Boston walking tour?”  
The couple stared back at him expressionless.   
“It is.” The man finally replied, voice monotone.   
Zak smiled back uncomfortably. “Okay. Great. Thanks.”   
He put a little space between himself and the couple. So much for striking up a conversation. He dug his hands deeper into his pockets, trying not to feel self-conscious standing there by himself.   
A loud laugh rang out from a group across the way and he looked over to see a few guys around his age. He smiled to himself as he watched them together, thinking of his own friends back home in Chicago.   
“I’m sorry, but that was funny!” One of the guys said, patting his friend on the shoulder.   
“I will leave, dude. I’m so serious.” His friend said, shrugging his shoulder away. “I didn’t even want to come in the first place.”  
“Aw, leave him alone.” The third man said with a sympathetic smile. “He’s being a good sport. It’s not his fault he’s afraid of his own shadow.”  
“I’m not--You guys suck.” 

Zak chuckled to himself as he listened in on the exchange. He wished he’d approached that group instead of the couple, still standing silently behind him.   
“It’s okay, Aaron. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.” The third man continued, face beaming as a sly smile stretched over his lips. “It takes a secure man to cry so openly.”  
“I’m not crying, Nick! I’m not crying.” Aaron said, turning toward the crowd to be sure anyone around knew that he was, in fact, not crying.   
Zak chuckled, biting his lips as he lowered his head toward the ground to hide his laughter.   
“I wasn’t crying!” Aaron announced one final time for good measure. 

Zak looked up, still chuckling softly as he looked toward the group. His eyes locked with Nick’s and the brown-eyed man smiled back, clearly satisfied with having an audience. He was a bit younger than Zak, from what he could tell, and his eyes sparkled as his face stretched into a grin. Zak’s gaze shot back toward the ground, but the smile didn’t leave his lips. 

“Good evening, everyone!” A man said, stepping toward the front of the crowd. He wore a long, black trench coat. His shaggy hair hung loose beneath his black top hat and he clutched a black, wooden cane.   
Zak’s eyes narrowed slightly as he tried to figure out what, exactly, he’d signed himself up for.   
“I’m Max and I’ll be your tour guide tonight. Thank you all for coming out on this cold night. We promise to make it worth your time. This is the Haunted Boston walking tour. We’re the longest running and most trusted tour company in the city, and as such, we have all kinds of bone chilling tales to curl your toes. We pride ourselves on the historical accuracy of our tours. So you can be sure that every account you hear tonight comes only the most credible sources. Do not be surprised if you witness something truly unexplainable this evening. On our tours, we’ve captured countless EVPs, photographic evidence and even witnessed a partial apparition.”

He leaned in, commanding the attention of his audience. His face serious as his voice lowered. 

“I must warn you before we begin… on more than one occasion, we’ve had customers reach out to us after a tour, complaining that they’ve had someone follow them home.” he paused for emphasis and Zak had to stop himself from rolling his eyes at the sheer theatrics of it all. “Attachments aren’t common, but I feel it’s my duty to warn you of the dangers of disturbing the paranormal. Because they are very real and the consequences are extremely unpredictable. Let’s just say, we want to make sure everyone goes home with exactly who they arrived with tonight. Unless otherwise inclined…” he added with a wiggle of his eyebrows. “We’re all consenting adults here.”

The group chuckled at his clearly rehearsed joke and Max flashed a smug smile, knowing his joke had landed. 

“So, now that you’ve all been warned, let’s begin the tour!” Max said, making his way through the group to lead the way. “And for our first stop, we don’t have to travel very far. This, as I’m sure you all know, is the Boston Common.”  
Zak followed Max’s gaze, unsure of what he was looking for. He was expecting a building of some kind. But there was nothing.  
“It may look unassuming.” Max said, “A nice spot for a picnic lunch or a game of football with your buddies. But this park is more than what it seems…In the 1700’s this park was the site of countless brutal, public hangings. It is unknown how many restless spirits roam this ground, but there are a few regulars who are seen here often.

The first is a pair of sisters often seen walking arm in arm down this very path. I know what you’re thinking, ‘that’s not an unusual sighting in a park’. And I’d be inclined to agree, if it weren’t for the 19th century clothing they are reported to be wearing. Witnesses have watched the two walk toward them, laughing and chatting together. But get close enough and they vanish into thin air.”

The group muttered to each other in approval and Zak had to admit that Max had way with storytelling. Theatrics aside, the park was dark and deserted and the image of the ghostly sisters sent chills up Zak’s spine. There was a reason they did these tours at night. 

“But the sisters aren’t the only girls haunting this stretch of land.” Max continued. “There is a young woman said to roam the grounds. Many witnesses report hearing her cries before they see her. She likes to hide in the shadows, watching. But if you’re unfortunate enough to come face-to-face with her, you’ll get a nasty surprise. Witnesses say there is nothing but a lump of flesh where her face should be. One witness actually passed out from fear. His friends found him half an hour later mumbling nonsensically about what he’d seen.” 

“I think we found Aaron’s new girlfriend.” Nick muttered, earning him a shove from the other man. 

Zak bit back a grin. Truthfully, he felt bad for Aaron. It was clear the guy didn’t want to be here. But he couldn’t help chuckling a little bit. 

Max continued, oblivious to the scuffle. “So, take a little time, roam the park. We’ll meet back right here at the hanging tree in ten minutes.”   
The group began to disperse, fanning out in every direction.   
“Mind the shadows.” Max called out in warning sending a shiver ran up Zak’s spine. 

The snow crunched under Zak’s feet as he made his way deeper into the park. He looked around to see if any other members of the group were venturing out in the same direction, and he was disappointed to see that he was suddenly very alone. This section of the park was dark, the pathway lined with tall, sturdy trees. His eyes scanned the shadows, unable to shake the image of the faceless woman.

He checked his watch. The last thing he wanted was to get turned around in this park and get left behind. He decided to cut back across the grass toward the hanging tree so he could hear the group when they gathered. As he made his way up the snowy hill, his eyes focused in on something in the distance. 

Countless gravestones dotted the ground, illuminated by the moonlight shining through the trees. He stopped in his tracks, staring at the way the shadows stretched, distorting the ground around them. He wondered why Max hadn’t mentioned a graveyard just a few hundred feet from where they’d gathered. He wondered if maybe it was their next stop. He hoped it was. There was something mesmerizing about a graveyard at night. 

“Central Burial Ground.” A voice said from behind him.   
Zak jumped out of his skin at the surprise. “Shit!” His hand flew to his chest as he recovered from the shock.   
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” Nick chuckled. “I thought you’d hear me coming.”  
“No, that’s okay.” Zak laughed, feeling a little embarrassed. “Central Burying Ground?”  
“The name of the cemetery.” Nick said, making his way over to join Zak at the top of the hill. “Nick.” he said, extending his hand.  
“Zak.” He said, reaching out to shake his hand.  
“There’s over 900 bodies buried in there.” Nick said, nodding toward the cemetery.  
“No shit?”   
“Yeah, a lot of them in unmarked graves too.”  
“No wonder this place is so haunted.” Zak breathed. He couldn’t imagine how many unrested spirits there must be, between the hangings and the unmarked graves.   
“Yeah...so you’re not from around here, huh?” Nick asked with a curious look.   
“Is it that obvious?” Zak chuckled.   
“No...it’s just, this is a pretty well known location.”  
“Oh.” Zak said. “Right. Yeah, I actually just moved here.”  
“Oh yeah? Where from?”  
“Chicago.” Even saying the word made him feel a little homesick.   
“Oh cool. I’ve been there a couple times. Great city.”  
“Yeah, it is…”  
“So, business or pleasure?” Nick asked. 

Zak thought about it for a moment. At this point, he was unemployed. So it definitely wasn’t business. And he would say pleasure if it wasn’t for the aching loneliness he’d felt from the moment he arrived.

“Um...a fresh start I guess.” he decided out loud.  
“That’s as good a reason as any.” Nick said with a warm smile. “So did you see anything weird out here yet?”  
Zak smiled, thankful for a subject change. “No, you?”   
“Nothing.” Nick shrugged. “But a buddy of mine swears he saw the sisters here once before. Man, I’d love to see something like that.”   
“It would be pretty cool.” Zak agreed. “And slightly terrifying.”  
“Oh, definitely terrifying!” Nick laughed. 

There was something endearing about the sound of Nick’s laugh and the way his eyes crinkled as he grinned. Zak couldn’t help but smile in return. 

“You ever been to one of these things before?” Zak asked.  
“These tours? Oh yeah, I love this stuff.” Nick said. “It’s kind of guilty pleasure of mine. How about you?”  
“This is my first one. I wasn’t really sure what to expect.”  
“And?”  
“It’s cool. Max is…”  
“Max is a unique individual.” Nick chuckled. “It’s kinda par for the course with these things. They really try to sell it with the creep factor. But the locations are legit.”   
“Oh yeah? Have you experienced stuff?”  
“Definitely!” Nick said, eyes lighting up. “I was on this tour once and we were at this old house on the other side of town. The story goes that in the early 1900’s this elderly couple lived in the house. And one day, the husband woke up to find that his wife had passed away in the night. So, they bury her and the husband grieves over her death. For weeks he stays locked in the house. He won’t answer the door and eventually, his neighbors begin to worry. So the call the sheriff, who ends up breaking into the house when the man won’t answer. And when he goes upstairs to look for the man, he finds him in bed with his wife’s body.”

“What…?” Zak mumbled, leaning in intently as Nick continued.

“They found a wheelbarrow and a shovel outside the house. The best they could figure was that the poor guy couldn’t handle the loss, so he went to the cemetery in the dead of night to dig her up and bring her home. He clearly wasn’t in his right mind. And he swore she was still alive and that he could hear her talking to him. It broke his heart when they took her body away. He ended up dying shortly after.”

“That’s awful.” Zak said. “That poor man.”  
“And I guess he was never able to leave the house. He just lingers, waiting for his wife to come back. I actually caught an EVP that night, clear as day. I asked him if he went to the gravesite to bring his wife home. And he just goes, ‘Yep. Mmm hmm’. I swear, the tone is so clear, it’s as if he was standing next to me just the same as you are.  
“Woah.” Zak said, releasing the breath he’d been holding. “That gave me the chills.”   
“Me too.” Nick grinned, rubbing the goosebumps from his forearms. “I’ll never forget the first time I heard it. It really just confirmed this all for me, you know? It’s real. I was right.”  
Zak nodded. He knew that feeling well. For him, it had been a mix of fear, fascination and relief. “I know what you mean.”   
“I’ve been hooked ever since.”  
“Trying to explain the unexplainable.” Zak commiserated.   
“Exactly.” Nick chuckled. “One day…”

Max called out from across the park, startling them both as they turned toward the sound. 

“Haunted Boston tour members! It’s time to head out to our next location!”

“We better head back down there.” Nick said. “Don’t wanna get left behind.”  
“Yeah.” Zak agreed, taking one last look at the cemetery looming in the distance. “Wouldn’t want that.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Haunted Boston tour heads to its next location and Zak and Nick pair up to investigate.

“Ladies and gentleman, this is the Omni Parker House Hotel.” Max said, gesturing toward the large stone building before them. “Built in the mid-nineteenth century, it’s had it’s fair share of famous guests. John F. Kennedy stayed in the hotel during his presidency and met with many important, historical figures in their private dining room. Charles Dickens himself was even known to stay here. He had one particular room he always requested on the third floor. It’s said that even now, the hotel elevators often stop on the third floor without prompting. Some believe it’s Dickens moving back and forth through the hotel.”

Zak looked up at the building, trying to decide if he could tell which window led to Charles Dickens’ favorite room.   
“Do we get to go inside?” Nick asked.  
“As a matter of fact, we do.” Max said. “We’ve worked out an agreement with the hotel manager, we have free reign of the lobby and grounds for the next half hour. I just ask you to please respect the privacy of the guests. Please don’t approach anyone to ask them if they’ve seen the ghost of Charles Dickens in the lobby coffee shop or worked out next to JFK in the hotel gym.”

The group gave a half-hearted chuckle.   
“That being said, feel free to investigate a bit. I’ve brought along a handful of EMF detectors and some digital recorders. We’ve got a small group tonight, so there should be enough of each to go around if everyone wants to pair up.”

Zak looked around, feeling slightly awkward as everyone around him partnered up with the people they’d arrived with. He decided he’d wait until the end to see if there was any equipment left for him to use. If not, he could always just take pictures with his phone. 

“You gonna stand there all night, or what?”   
Zak turned to see Nick looking at him expectantly.   
“We’ve only got a half hour. Let’s go.”  
“Oh...okay.” Apparently he was pairing up with Nick. “But what about equipment?”  
“Oh, we don’t need that shit. I got my own stuff. It’s way better.” He said, pulling two devices from his pockets. “You comin’?”  
“Yeah.” Zak said, following him toward the hotel.   
“So, what do think? Everyone’s going inside to check out the lobby. Wanna investigate the grounds while it’s quiet?”  
“Yeah, good idea.” He was still trying to mentally catch up. 

“You know, Charles Dickens and JFK are cool and all, but I’m much more interested in the other ghosts that haunt this hotel.” Nick said, holding the EMF detector out in front of him as he walked.   
“What other ghosts?” Zak asked, intrigued.   
“Well, most of the reported activity is of Mr. Parker himself. He owned the hotel and apparently, guests see him roaming the grounds pretty regularly.”  
“Did he die here?”   
“No. But from what I read, he spent most of his time here. He was obsessed with the success of the business.”  
“No wonder he’s tied to this building. He’s probably keeping an eye on it.”  
“Yeah. That’s what I was--Woah!”   
“What?” Zak said, eyes snapping toward the younger man.  
“Check out these spikes? This thing is all over the place.” 

Zak watched as the numbers on the EMF detector jumped up and down. “What’s wrong with it?”  
“There must be some kind of interference or something? You saw it a minute ago, right? It was perfectly stable.”  
“Yeah...do you think it could be something to do with the power lines?”  
“Could be.” Nick said. “Here...lemme try something.” He walked forward a few feet, eyes glued to the monitor. “0.5...0.2...0.1.” He turned around, making his way back to Zak.   
“Anything?”  
Nick shook his head. “It’s stable.”  
“So that rules out the power lines.”  
“Seems like it.” Nick said with a grin. “I think we just had our first spirit activity of the night.”  
“Cool.” Zak smiled. “Well, come on. Let’s find it again. I wanna try communicating.”  
“Yeah, okay.” Nick chuckled, following closely at Zak’s heels. 

“So, where’d you get all this stuff anyway?”  
“Online mostly.” Nick said. “I’ve got my eye on some newer models, but they’re pretty pricey. And these do the trick for now.”  
“They’re really great. I’ve just been using apps on my phone.” Zak chuckled. “Not the most reliable.”   
“So this isn’t your first investigation into the paranormal?”   
“Well...it’s my first guided tour. But no, definitely not my first paranormal experience.”

Nick waited, eyes raised curiously.   
“What?”  
“Come on, you’re not gonna leave me hanging, are you? I love origin stories.” Nick said.   
Zak couldn’t help but chuckle. It was nice to meet someone his age that was as intrigued as he was by all this stuff. 

“Well...I guess it started when I was a kid.” Zak shrugged. “I had this imaginary friend, Ruth. She would show up in my room a lot when I was alone. We’d talk about school and she’d ask me about the trouble I was having with some of the kids in my class. She was just this friendly and calming sort of grandmother figure.”  
“I take it she wasn’t imaginary.” Nick said, wide-eyed.   
“I don’t know for sure...my parents were weirded out that my imaginary friend was an elderly woman and they told me that I couldn’t play with her anymore. I think they were probably just freaked out by the whole thing. So, I told her to leave me alone and that I didn’t want to see her anymore. I’ll never forget how sad she looked. I felt awful. But I was just a kid. Anyway, she stopped coming around. Every once in awhile, I’d wake up in the night and she’d be there, just watching me. But she never spoke to me again.”

“Wow…”  
“And it sucked because she was a real comfort to me when I needed it. I was having a rough time at school and she was the only person I had to talk about it with. Even if she wasn’t real…”  
“Do you really think you could have imagined her?” Nick asked doubtfully.  
“I guess I’ll never know for sure.” Zak said, feeling the familiar sting of sadness he felt whenever he spoke about her. “I’ve seen other things since then. Things I can’t explain. Things I feel... drawn to, you know?”  
“Yeah.” Nick nodded. “I get that.”

“I guess I just want to understand...why me? What’s different about me?”  
“I don’t know.” Nick said frankly. “But whatever it is, I don’t think it’s a bad thing.”   
Zak gave a humorless chuckle. “Well, you’d be the first to think that.” he looked down at his hands, uncomfortably. He knew he’d said too much and he felt his cheeks warm. “Anyway...enough about me. Sorry.”  
“Don’t be.” Nick said. “I asked.”  
Zak smiled gratefully. “Well...should we check out that area back behind that tool shed? It looks dark and creepy.”  
“Yeah, sure.” Nick chuckled. “Let’s do it.”

Nick pulled out a flashlight, illuminating the stone path in front of them. This section of the hotel grounds was darker than the rest and Zak couldn’t help but notice it wasn’t nearly as well maintained.   
“This is kinda creepy.” Nick chuckled. “It’s like the landscapers avoid this whole area. Makes you wonder why.”  
“Yeah…” Zak said distantly. He was getting that feeling. The one he got from time to time. That magnetic pull that called him toward the darkness. “There’s something…” he muttered, grabbing for his phone to snap pictures.   
“You see something?”  
Zak shook his head. “Feel it.”  
“Where?”  
“Next to the shed.” Zak said, pointing toward the structure.

Nick approached slowly, switching on the digital recorder. “Is anyone there?” He paused, standing still as he held the recorder toward the shed.”Mr. Parker. Is that you?”  
Zak continued snapping pictures, trying his best not to move and accidentally contaminate the audio.   
“I’m feeling something over here, Zak. It’s like a static charge.”  
“Check the EMF detector.” Zak said, making his way toward the younger man.   
“Here, hold this.” Nick said, handing off the recorder and digging in his coat pocket for the EMF detector. As soon as he turned it on, the numbers began to spike. “Woah! 1.9.” He held device out between them. “3.1!”  
“Seriously?” Zak asked, leaning in to look at the monitor. “That’s a big jump.”  
“Yeah, and way higher than the spike we got a few minutes ago. You were right, there’s definitely something here… Is there someone standing between us? Do you want to tell us something?”

Zak’s skin prickled with goosebumps. It was cold outside, but he knew the weather wasn’t the cause. He looked to Nick who clearly felt it too. The younger man’s eyes were wide as they met Zak’s, hands shooting out between them to feel the static in the air.   
“Oh my God.”  
“Yeah…” Zak breathed, feeling his heart racing in his chest. He lifted his phone, snapping off another series of photos of the empty space between them. “Nick, look at this.”  
“What the…” The younger man said, pressing in close as Zak flipped through the photos. “It moves.”

Zak stared at the photos in awe. A dark, shadowy mass stood tall in space between himself and Nick. Parts of it were light, and nearly transparent. Other areas were so dark he could hardly see Nick at all. And as he scrolled through the pictures, the figure seemed to slide out of frame.   
“It’s like it just walked away.” Zak said, scrolling back to the beginning to watch the progression again.   
“Unbelievable.” Nick breathed, watching over Zak’s shoulder. “I’ve captured anomalies in pictures before, but nothing like this.”  
“Me either.” Zak agreed. “There’s no way you didn’t get something on EVP. I mean, it was right here.”   
“I hope so! That would be awesome.”  
“Let’s check it out.”  
“Okay.” Nick said, rewinding the recording

“Yo, Nick!” A voice called from across the lot. “Let’s go!”  
Zak turned to see Nick's friend Aaron, waving his arms toward them.  
“Oh, shit. Has it already been a half hour?” Nick said, checking the time. “We better get back to the group.”  
“Oh, okay.” Zak said, following the younger man as he turned back toward the hotel. He had forgotten all about the others and the tour. He had gotten so wrapped up in investigating with Nick and he wished they had a little bit longer at this location.   
“I could send you the recording.” Nick suggested.   
“That would be great. And I can send you the pictures if you want.”  
“Yeah...thanks. I definitely want to review them on a bigger screen.” Nick said.   
“Yeah, me too.”  
“Or...if you wanted, maybe we could get together sometime and review them?”  
“Together?” Zak asked dumbly. It slipped out before he had a chance to stop it.   
“If you wanted.”   
“Um...yeah. Sure. That would be nice.” He knew he was in no position to turn down friends at this point. And Nick seemed like a nice guy. He wouldn’t mind spending a little time with him.   
“Cool.” Nick nodded, lips pulling into a smile.  
Zak smiled back, feeling pink spread across his cheeks. He hoped it was dark enough that Nick wouldn’t notice. 

“What are you grinning about?” Aaron asked Nick as they approached. “You do something dirty?”  
Zak couldn’t help but chuckle, even though the implication made him feel awkward.   
“Would you shut up?” Nick chuckled.   
“What took you so long? They almost left your ass behind. Both of your asses.” Aaron said, nodding toward Zak.   
“We were getting some crazy activity back by that tool shed.” Nick said. “Just lost track of time.”  
“Well, good for you. I, on the other hand, spent my time at the hotel bar.”   
“Yeah, I can tell.” Nick chuckled, squeezing Aaron’s shoulder. “Aaron, this is Zak. Zak, this is Aaron.”

“Nice to meet you, man.” Aaron said, reaching a hand out to shake. “Sorry you got stuck partnering up with this asshole.”  
Zak chuckled. “It wasn’t so bad.”  
“So what’s your story?” Aaron asked, stepping between Zak and Nick as they made their way toward the group. “You single? I’m not looking, but this one here…” he said gesturing toward Nick.   
“Aaron.” Nick warned, shooting Zak an apologetic look. 

“Oh, um…” Zak muttered awkwardly. The whole reason he’d gone on this tour in the first place was to distract himself from his current relationship status. He definitely wasn’t ready to talk about it with people he barely knew.  
“You don’t have to answer that.” Nick said. But Zak didn’t miss the way his face fell in disappointment.  
“It’s okay.” he said, knowing it would be even more awkward if he didn’t. “I’m um...sort of newly single, I guess.”  
“Oh, so it’s complicated.” Aaron nodded.  
“No, it’s not that complicated. He dumped me, so…”   
Zak lowered his eyes to the ground. He really wished he could shut himself up sometimes. The tension hung in the air like a wet blanket and he cringed as they walked in silence. He didn’t dare chance a look at either of them. 

“Shit…” Aaron muttered.   
Nick reached for Zak’s arm, pulling him back as they reached the group.   
“Hey, Zak, I’m really sorry about that.”   
“Don’t sweat it.” Zak said dismissively.  
“I think he probably had a little too much to drink. He’s really not a bad guy.”  
“Oh, I know. It’s okay.”  
“You just seem upset…” Nick said, taking a step closer. His eyes were were warm and and concerned as he looked at Zak.  
“I’ll be fine.” Zak said. “It’s just still kinda fresh.”   
“Yeah…” Nick said. His eyes studied Zak like he had more questions he wanted to ask. “I get it. I’m sorry.”  
“You didn’t do anything.” Zak chuckled. “Now can we just get back to looking for ghosts?”  
Nick smiled, a soft chuckle escaping his lips. “Yeah, okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed chapter two! I love building the tension! I'm already done with Chapter 3 and will be posting it in a few days. Let me know what you think! Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zak goes over to Nick's place to review the evidence they captured.

“Hey man, come on in.” Nick grinned. “Is it snowing again?”  
“Yeah, a little.” Zak said sarcastically. He was covered in white flakes and he brushed them from his shoulders and hair. “Does it always snow so much around here?”  
“Pretty much.” Nick chuckled. “Lemme take your coat.”  
“Thanks.” Zak said, shrugging the jacket off and handing it to the younger man. He blew warm air onto his partially frozen hands, rubbing them together.  
“You know, you really oughta bundle up a little more.”  
“Yeah, I’m realizing that now.” Zak chuckled.   
“I thought you were from the midwest. I know you guys get snow out there.” Nick joked.   
“Not usually so early in the season.” Zak said. “I gotta figure out where I packed all my winter stuff.”  
“Well, come on in and get warm.” Nick said, leading Zak into the apartment with a warm hand to the small of his back. “Can I get you something to drink? Water? Coffee? A beer?”  
“Oh. Um…coffee would be great if you don’t mind.”   
“Coming right up!” Nick said, making his way toward the kitchen. “Have a seat or snoop around a little if you want.”

Zak chuckled. Honestly, he loved to snoop. Especially when he didn’t know the person very well. You could learn a lot from what someone has on their book shelf. He took a look around the apartment, pleased to see it was decorated with actual furniture instead of the hodgepodge of second hand items he was so used to seeing in most places. It looked like Nick had taken care in choosing his furnishings.   
Zak spotted a book case, making his way over to see what he could see. The bottom shelf was lined with movies and TV series, many of which Zak loved. It was clear Nick leaned toward horror and psychological thrillers. Not a huge surprise from what Zak already knew of him. But other than that, the shelf was filled with books. _Actual books_. A rarity among guys their age, in Zak’s experience. He browsed the collection, spotting a few books he himself had read and enjoyed. He was pleased to find that Nick had a healthy collection of Stephen King books and a number of true crime and real life haunting biographies. There were also books on filmmaking, sports and even a couple of cook books. All in all, a pretty well-rounded collection. 

“You find anything you like?” Nick asked, leaning against the door frame.  
“Oh.” Zak said, smiling bashfully. “You like to cook?”  
“I do.” Nick said, grinning as he walked toward him. “I’m not too bad at it, actually.”  
Zak nodded in approval. “That’s pretty impressive. I’m a terrible cook.”  
“Maybe I’ll have to teach you sometime.” Nick said, leaning in against the bookshelf, eyes sparkling.   
Zak chuckled awkwardly, eyes lowering to the floor. “I don’t know...I think I’m beyond hope.”  
“Nah.” Nick smiled.  
Zak swallowed, feeling his skin go warm at Nick’s gaze. There was something about the younger man. He had a confidence that radiated from him. He was assertive, but he wasn’t arrogant like so many guys Zak had met. He somehow managed to strike the perfect balance, and Zak would be lying to himself if he didn’t admit that it was pretty sexy.

“Well...should we check out the EVP’s?” he said, wanting to deflect some of the attention from himself.   
“Yeah, sure...we could do that.” Nick smirked. “Let me go grab the recorder.”  
“Okay.”  
“Coffee should be ready. Help yourself.” Nick called as he walked toward the bedroom.  
Zak took a deep breath, recovering from the weight of Nick’s gaze as he made his way toward the kitchen. The coffee was done, and the inviting smell filled the small kitchen. He poured himself a steaming mug.  
“Do you want some too?” He called loud enough for Nick to hear.   
“Sure.” The younger man said, appearing in the doorway. “Do you take cream and sugar?”  
“Just cream if you have it.”   
Nick reached into the refrigerator, pulling out the carton of cream and placing it on the counter. The kitchen was narrow, and he scooted in behind Zak as he poured the coffee. 

“Excuse me.” Nick said, reaching up and over Zak’s shoulder to grab the sugar bowl from its shelf. “I like mine sweet.”  
He was close and Zak felt goosebumps on his skin as the younger man’s breath ghosted over his neck.   
“Cream?” Zak asked, trying his best to play it cool.   
“Yeah, thanks.” Nick said, taking the carton and splashing some into his mug.   
“Thanks. This smells great.” Zak said, moving toward the doorway.   
Nick smirked, clearly noticing the distance Zak had put between them. “Sure, no problem. Well, should we get to it?”  
“Yeah, sure.” Zak said, relaxing a bit. “I’m excited to see if we captured anything.”  
“Me too.” Nick said, following Zak back to the living room. “Oh, by the way, I was scrolling through your pictures again the other day...you gotta see this.” He walked over to the TV, plugging a flash drive in and scrolling through the settings as he plopped down on the couch next to Zak. “Check this out.”

Zak looked at the screen. He’d flipped through these pictures a hundred times since that night but seeing it on a large screen was like looking at a totally different image. “Woah.”  
“Do you see--”  
“The cane. And the top hat. Yeah…”   
“Right? I thought it was just a mist, but if you look carefully frame by frame, you can actually make out some of his features.”   
“Do you think this is the owner of the hotel?”  
“Funny you should ask…” Nick said, reaching for his laptop. “So, I couldn’t sleep and I started doing some googling.” He turned the laptop toward Zak, a picture of Mr. Parker already pulled up on the screen.  
“Wow…” Zak said, looking between the two images.   
“The build matches. And apparently, he was known to walk with a cane.”  
“It’s him.” Zak said.   
“You think?”  
“Absolutely.” Zak grinned. “This is amazing.”  
“I know, right?” Nick grinned back. “This is some of the best evidence I’ve ever captured--not that _I_ captured it.” He said, quickly correcting himself.   
“We captured it together.” Zak said, matter-of-factly.  
“It was your instinct.”  
“It was your idea to investigate the grounds while everyone else went inside.”  
Nick chuckled. “Alright. Fair enough...we captured it together.”  
Zak smiled, pleased with the younger man’s concession.   
“You know...we make a pretty good team.” Nick said, eyes finding Zak’s.   
“Yeah, I guess we do.” Zak smirked sheepishly. He reached for his coffee, taking a sip to wet his dry throat. “So, when you couldn’t sleep, did you happen to listen to the recordings too?”  
“No.” Nick smiled. “I wanted to wait for you.”  
“Good.” Zak said with a satisfied smile. “Wouldn’t want you to have _all_ the fun.”

Nick chuckled, reaching for the recorder and scooting in closer to Zak. He was right next to him now, and Zak could feel the warmth of Nick’s body radiating across his skin.   
“I like to hear the recordings straight from the device the first time.” Nick explained, clearly seeing the confusion on Zak’s face. “Wanna make sure nothing weird happens during the upload.”  
“Oh.” Zak said, clearing his throat quickly as his voice cracked. “Makes sense.”  
Nick leaned in, bringing the recorder between them as he pressed into Zak’s side.   
“I’ve got it set to skip over the white noise.” Nick explained. “So it should just be you and me talking. Unless we picked up any voices.   
“Cool.” Zak said momentarily distracted from Nick’s proximity. The younger man’s gear was leaps and bounds ahead of the apps Zak used on his phone and he hoped that meant they’d captured something.   
“Ok, I think I’ve got it rewound to the beginning. You ready?”  
“Yeah.”   
Nick pressed play and Zak closed his eyes, focusing on the recording, listening for any sound that felt out of place.   
Mr. Parker, is that you? Nick’s voice echoed through the speakers. There was only a moment's pause before the sound of a deep exhale came through the device.   
“Shit.” Nick said, pausing the recorder and skipping back. “Did you hear that?”  
“Yeah.” Zak said. “It sounded like it was right next to you.”  
Nick played it again, and this time, Zak felt the weight of the sound. It was only a breath, but there was real emotion to it. Longing or disappointment, Zak wasn’t sure, but he felt it in his own body.   
“It feels...sad.” he muttered.  
Nick turned his head, eyes meeting Zak’s. “What do you mean?”  
“I mean...I don’t know. I hear that sound and I just...I can feel it.” he shrugged. “Sorry, I know I probably sound crazy.” He brought a hand to his hair nervously. He knew better than to say those kinds of things. Especially to people he barely knew.   
“No, that’s okay.” Nick said, eyes studying Zak. 

Zak smiled weakly, feeling embarrassment flush his skin. He needed a distraction from Nick’s quizzical eyes. He reached for his mug, taking another sip of coffee.   
“Do you feel things like that a lot?” The younger man asked, body shifting toward Zak.   
“What? Emotions?” Zak chuckled dismissively. “I’m not a robot…”  
“ _Other people’s_ emotions.” Nick clarified.   
There was a heavy silence as Zak tried to decide how to answer. “Um...I don’t know. What’s a lot?”   
He chanced a look at the younger man, unsure of what he’d find. Nick looked back at him, calm and curious.   
“I guess...I guess it happens kind of a lot.” Zak admitted.   
“For how long?”   
“As long as I can remember.” Zak said. “I just get these waves...they just sort of pass over me. And for a moment, the things I’m feeling aren’t my emotions.” He didn’t know why he was sharing this with Nick, but he figured at this point he had nothing left to lose.   
“Is it just with spirits?” Nick asked.  
“Most of the time.” Zak said, taking a deep breath. “Although, the older I get, the more I seem to pick up on. I don’t do it on purpose. It just, sort of happens.”  
“It’s a gift.” Nick said simply.   
“I don’t know about that…”  
Nick’s brow furrowed as he looked at Zak and the older man lowered his eyes to his hands.   
“It hasn’t exactly been easy, you know? I didn’t ask for this...to be different.”  
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound insensitive.” Nick said sincerely. “I can’t imagine what it must be like, how exhausting it must be to take on other people’s emotions. And I suppose it does make you a little different than the average person, but who wants average when they can have extraordinary?”

Zak smiled bashfully. He didn’t know if Nick meant that as a direct compliment or not, but the younger man smiled warmly and Zak soaked it in.   
“I don’t usually tell people about this. It doesn’t always go over so well.”  
“People are closed-minded.” Nick said simply. “They can’t handle things they don’t understand. That’s a reflection on them, not you.”  
“Where were you three month ago?” Zak chuckled.  
“What happened three months ago?”  
Zak cringed. He hadn’t meant to bring that up. “Oh, nothing, just my boyfriend...well, _ex_ boyfriend.”  
“I take it he wasn’t on board with the whole empath thing?” Nick asked, eyes curious.  
“He said he wanted to date _me_ , not everyone I come in contact with.”  
“What a dick.” Nick said.   
“No, he’s not a bad guy.” Zak reasoned, “This thing I have...it’s just not what he signed up for.”   
“He signed up for _you_.” Nick said emphatically. “This is a part of who you are. He doesn’t get to pick and choose.”  
“Well, he chose.” Zak shrugged. “Just chose not to deal with it anymore.” He felt his throat constricting and he worried that if he didn’t change the subject, he’d start crying. Anyway...let’s talk about something else.”

“Okay.” Nick agreed. “But just for the record, he’s an idiot. And you’re better off.”  
Zak breathed a soft chuckle. “Thanks. I’ll try to remember that.”   
“Good.” Nick smiled. “Now let’s change the subject.”  
“Is there more audio to review?” Zak suggested.   
“Yeah, there is. You gonna be okay? I don’t wanna bum you out.”  
“Thanks. I’ll be fine though.” Sometimes he preferred getting lost in other people’s emotions so he didn’t have to think about his own.   
“Okay.” Nick said, pressing play and holding the recorder up between them. 

Zak tried to focus, but his mind kept wandering back to the day everything turned upside down. The day he left. He remembered the sting of his words, the finality of it all. He couldn’t even bring himself to fight for him. It was over and he knew it. He could tell by the look on his face.   
The familiar pain twisted at his insides. And even with Nick right there next to him, he felt alone. He moved closer to the younger man, wanting to feel the warmth and comfort of another body next to his.   
“Can you hear okay?” Nick asked, turning to face him.  
“Yeah.” Zak said, eyes lingering on Nick’s. They were a warm, chocolate brown and he found himself wanting to get lost in them. He let his eyes drag down to Nick’s lips. They looked soft and plump and he thought about how easy it would be to lean in and kiss him. To just lose himself completely for the night. But that wasn’t the answer. And it wasn’t fair to Nick.   
He lifted his gaze and the younger man smiled back softly. 

“You got any plans this weekend?” Nick asked.   
“What?” Zak asked, feeling his lips pull into a grin.  
“You wanna get together Saturday night?”  
“What did you have in mind?”   
“I don’t know...There’s this old cemetery I’ve been wanting to check out. We could go after they close. You okay with minor felonies?” Nick grinned.   
“That’s not what I was expecting.” Zak chuckled.   
“Well, I guess we could just go to a movie or grab a drink or something.”  
“What, no felonies?” Zak grinned. “Don’t get boring on me now.”  
“So Saturday?” Nick smiled happily.  
“Saturday.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These BOYS! I hope you're enjoying the story so far. Lots more to come! Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick picks Zak up for their...date? He's not sure what it is, but he's nervous and excited.

Zak checked his hair for the hundredth time. His palms were sweaty and his stomach was a mess of knots and butterflies. It had easily been one of the longest days of his life. He was anxious and he wasn’t totally sure what he’d gotten himself into. 

Nick would be there any minute to pick him up and he still wasn’t totally sure what these plans meant. Were they just a couple of friends hanging out and investigating a cool spot? Or was it a date? He wasn’t sure from Nick’s tone and he’d been way too embarrassed to just come out and ask. He figured he’d just play it by ear. At the time, that had sounded like a good idea, but right now it was making his stomach turn.

He wasn’t really sure what he wanted, only that he wanted to spend time with Nick. He liked the younger man a lot and they had plenty of things in common. He’d been so lonely since he moved, and it was nice to have someone he felt comfortable talking to. And sure, it had been a while since he’d been close with someone. Going on three and half months at this point. And the thought of being with someone sounded nice, but he wasn’t sure he was ready for all that yet. Not really. 

It had been a really long time since he’d gone on a first date, and he wasn’t sure he even remembered how it worked--Not that this was a date. But the nerves twisting in his stomach felt awfully familiar. He checked his hair one more time, finishing it off with a quick spray of product. This was as good as it was gonna get. 

He stared at his reflection in the mirror, wondering who he’d become in these past months. He felt like a shell of himself, heartbroken, lonely and insecure. He didn’t like what he saw and he wondered if somehow, someone could see past it. He hoped maybe Nick would see who he really was.

There was a knock on his door and his stomach jumped into his throat. He made his way over, wiping his palms on the legs of his jeans before opening the door. Nick stood beaming in his doorway and Zak couldn’t help but mirror the warm smile. 

“Someone was getting a pizza delivered, so I snuck in the front door with the delivery guy. Hope you don’t mind.”   
“No, I don’t.” Zak said standing in the doorway.   
“Hi.” Nick smiled.   
“Hi.” Zak said, soaking in the warmth of the younger man’s eyes.   
“I like your hallway.” Nick joked.   
“Oh shit. Sorry.” Zak said, remembering himself. “Wanna come in?”  
“Sure.” Nick chuckled, following Zak through the doorway. “Thanks.”  
“I gotta grab my shoes and my coat. Can I get you something to drink?”  
“No thanks. I’m all set.” Nick said, lifting a bag in his hand. “Why don’t you go get your shoes and stuff while I snoop around?”  
Zak chuckled. “Sounds good.” 

He made his way into the bedroom already noticing his nerves beginning to calm a bit.   
“Sorry it’s kind of a mess in here. I haven’t finished unpacking.”  
“No worries.” Nick called from the other room. “It looks like it’s starting to come together.”  
“Yeah, I just gotta make myself finish unpacking.” Zak said, rounding the corner into the living room. “That’s the worst part.”  
“Yeah, I hate moving. It’s like, I never realized how much shit I hold on to. It doesn’t seem like a lot until it’s all gotta fit into boxes.”  
“I know.” Zak chuckled. “And I was kind of rushed when I was packing, so things aren’t really organized. I’ve got kitchen stuff with bathroom stuff and clothes with books... I just kind of stuffed things in wherever they fit.”  
“So you’re a procrastinator.” Nick teased.   
“Yeah, I guess.” Zak chuckled.

The truth was he’d had to pack all his stuff in a rush because he couldn’t handle being in his apartment a second longer than he had to be. It hurt too much to see their things together on the shelves. Pictures and mementos of their favorite trips, the pots and pans they’d bought together when Zak moved in. He’d had to get out.   
“Did I say something wrong?” Nick asked, brow furrowed.  
“Oh no... Sorry.” Zak said. “Well, should we head out?” he asked as brightly as he could manage.   
“Yeah, sure.” Nick said, eyes still studying him. “It’s pretty cold out there. Do you have gloves or a hat?”  
“Right here.” Zak said, pulling his gloves from his pocket. There was no way he was going to mess up his hair with a hat.  
“Great. Let’s go!” 

They walked in silence down the dark street. Nick had been quiet since they’d left his apartment and Zak knew he should probably say something to break the ice. He hated the way he let himself sink into sadness, especially when he had a nice guy who actually wanted to spend time with him. 

“Nice night.” he said, lamely. Truthfully, it was cold and he could already feel his ears burning from the chill.   
“Yeah. _Cold night_!” Nick chuckled. “But we’re almost there.”  
“So, what’s in the bag?” Zak asked, nodding toward the canvas tote the younger man carried.   
“Just some equipment...and some stuff to keep us warm.” he said with a mischievous grin.   
Zak smiled. “Do I get to see what’s in there?”  
“In a minute.” Nick said. “We’re here.”  
“Where?” Zak asked. They were still in the middle of a residential neighborhood and he didn’t see a cemetery anywhere.   
“Right at the end of this block. You see how it dead ends? That’s the way in.”  
Zak followed as Nick led the way down the quiet block.   
“Have you done this before?” Zak asked, suddenly nervous they’d get caught.   
“No.” Nick grinned. “But this is the quietest side, so I figure we’ll have no problem hopping the wall here.”  
“Hopping the wall?” Zak asked, shock playing across his face.   
“Yeah, how else do you think we’re gonna get in?” Nick chuckled.   
“I don’t know...I guess I thought it was one of those cemeteries with short gates.” 

He looked up at the large wall looming above him. He wasn’t much for heights, and there was no way he was going to be able to hop this wall by himself.   
“Nick…”  
“Come on, it’ll be fun.” Nick said, eyes pleading.   
He looked excited, and Zak knew he couldn’t say no.   
“I just don’t know if I’m gonna be able to…”  
“I’ll give you a boost.” Nick said, setting the bag down on the ground.   
“And how are you gonna get in?”  
“I’ll figure it out.” Nick smirked. “Come on, hop on.” he said, leaning against the wall, hands intertwined.   
“You’re not gonna, like, boost me over and then leave, right?” Zak asked, only half kidding.  
“Would you come on before someone sees us?” Nick chuckled.   
“Okay…” Zak said reluctantly. “But I’m gonna get your gloves all snowy.”  
“Well, that’s kind of what they’re for.” Nick said with a smirk.   
“Okay.... Here I go.” Zak said, stepping a foot into the younger man’s hands.   
“One...two...three.” Nick said, hoisting Zak up to the top of the wall.   
Zak grabbed hold of the cement wall, using his arms to pull himself up the rest of the way.   
“You got it?” Nick asked, hands hovering to catch him if need be.   
“Yeah.” Zak grunted, swinging a leg over to straddle the wall. “Now how do we get you up here?”  
“Um…” Nick contemplated. “If I get a running start, do you think you could pull me up?”  
“Yeah, I think so.” Zak nodded. “Why don’t you throw me the bag first.”  
“Good idea.” Nick agreed. “But no peeking.”  
“Deal.” Zak chuckled.   
Nick tossed the bag and Zak tried hard not to lose his balance as he reached out to grab it. He dropped it over the wall and watched it land in a pile of snow on the other side. 

“Okay...you ready for me now?” Nick asked.   
“Ready.” Zak said, grip tightening on the wall. It was a longer drop than he wanted to think about if he lost his balance.   
Nick backed away, putting some space between himself and the wall before he took a running start toward it. He managed to run his feet up the side just enough that Zak could grab hold of his hands, pulling him as he walked his feet up the rest of the way.   
Nick heaved himself up and over the edge, facing Zak as he straddled the wall. They were close, knees touching as the younger man beamed with satisfaction.   
“We did it.” he chuckled, slightly out of breath from his climb.   
“Yeah.” Zak grinned back. 

The moonlight hit the younger man’s face, bringing his eyes to life in the darkness. Zak couldn’t help the way he stared, mesmerized. Nick’s cheeks and nose were rosy from the cold and his breath came in slow puffs of vapor, lingering in the air. 

Nick smiled warmly, brown eyes swimming as he looked back at him. Zak knew that look. And sure enough, the younger man leaned in slowly, hands coming to rest on Zak’s knees. His heart pounded in his chest as Nick moved toward him in slow motion. He wasn’t ready for this. But as he moved to pull back, he lost his balance, toppling over the side of the wall and landing with a thud below. 

“Ow...shit.”   
“Zak, are you okay?” Nick called, jumping down from the wall and racing to his side. “Did you hit your head?”  
“No, I’m okay.” Zak wheezed. “Just got the wind knocked out of me.”  
“Okay. Just stay put for a second. Catch your breath.”  
Zak laid there, breathing heavily as embarrassment took over. He pinched his eyes shut, bringing his arms to cross over his face as he regained his breath.   
“You sure you’re okay?” Nick asked.   
“Yeah. I’m fine. I don’t know what happened, I just lost my balance.” Zak lied. And he could tell by the look on Nick’s face that he didn’t believe him.   
“Should we go?” he asked, disappointment clear on his face.   
“No! No way.” Zak insisted. “We made it this far, right?” 

He didn’t want to go home. He couldn’t stand the thought of leaving things like this. He liked Nick and he wanted to spend more time with him.   
“If you’re sure you’re okay?”   
“I’m sure.” Zak said. “Help me up?”  
“Okay.” Nick said, soft smile pulling at the corner of his lips. He stood, holding his hands out and Zak grabbed hold, letting the younger man pull him up from the snow.   
He wiped the snow from his hair, reaching his hand back to try and wipe at the snow that had made its way into the neckline of his coat. Now he was _really_ cold.   
“Here. Let me help you.” Nick said, brushing the snow away from his neck. “You must be freezing.”  
“I’m okay.” Zak insisted.   
“Come on.” Nick said, grabbing the bag from the ground and leading the way.   
Zak followed as the younger man made his way toward a large tree. There was a stone bench underneath it and Nick brushed the snow off before sitting down and patting the bench next to him.   
Zak smiled, taking a seat. Nick unzipped the bag, rifling through it to pull out a large thermos and two metal cups. He filled one cup with steaming liquid, handing it to Zak before he filled one for himself. Zak lifted the mug to his nose, breathing in the warm, sweet smell.  
“Mmm...hot chocolate.” he said with a grin.   
“And to keep us extra warm…” Nick said, pulling a flask from the bag.  
“Yes please.” Zak chuckled, holding his mug out.   
Nick splashed a good amount of the amber liquid into each mug, before screwing the cap back on and stashing the flask in the bag. 

“You thought of everything.” Zak said, smiling warmly at the younger man.   
Nick smiled back, but Zak couldn’t help but notice how it didn’t quite reach his eyes. Clearly he was still feeling the effects of the rejection.   
“This smells good.” Zak said, trying desperately to make it less awkward.   
He leaned in a bit closer to Nick, hoping the younger man would understand that he hadn’t meant to reject him. He just wasn’t ready to kiss him, or anyone. It was too soon.   
“If you’re still cold, I have this.” Nick said, reaching into the bag to grab for a fleece blanket and handing it to Zak.   
“Thanks.” Zak smiled, accepting the blanket. He unfolded it, bringing it over his head and wrapping it around both their shoulders. “That’s better.” he said with a cautious smile. 

They sat quietly, sipping their hot chocolate. The heat from Nick’s body and the hot drink had Zak feeling warmer already. He only wished he could relieve the tension in the air. He could tell Nick felt awkward, and Zak wished he’d been more upfront about the whole thing. He just wasn’t ready to dive right into anything with Nick. It was still too soon. 

“Well, this is awkward.” Nick said finally, smiling uncomfortably.  
Zak couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped his lips. “Nick, I’m sorry.”   
“I’m sorry.” Nick said, meeting Zak’s eyes. “I totally misread the situation. I just...I really like you and I’m sorry if I came on a little strong.”  
“I like you too.” Zak said, truthfully. “And I like spending time with you. I’m just in a weird place right now. But it’s got nothing to do with you, I swear.”  
“I get it.” Nick nodded. “Can I just ask...did you know I was asking you on a date tonight?”  
Zak smiled. “I wasn’t sure...but I thought maybe you were.”  
“Did you want me to be?”

Zak paused, mulling the question over in his mind. He’d spent the entire day a nervous wreck, trying to figure out the answer to that very question. But now that he was here with the younger man, he was pretty sure he knew the answer.   
“Yeah, I think I did.”  
“Okay then.” Nick said with a satisfied grin.   
“Okay then.” Zak replied, smiling back.   
“You warm enough?” Nick asked, rubbing a hand along Zak’s arm.  
“Yeah. I’m good.” Zak smiled. “This helps.” he said, nodding toward the steaming mug.”  
“There’s more where that came from.” Nick said, taking a sip of his own cocoa. 

“This is really nice.” Zak said, leaning in to rest his shoulder against Nick’s.  
“I’m glad you like it.” Nick said sincerely. “I’ve never met anyone willing to go to the cemetery on a first date.”   
“What can I say? I’m a cheap date.” Zak chuckled. “So, do you think this place is haunted?”  
“I don’t know.” Nick shrugged. “But it’s one of the oldest cemeteries in Boston. So there’s a good chance. I’ve been wanting to get in here and check it out forever.”  
“Well, should we get started?” Zak asked.   
“No. Not yet.” Nick said, eyes meeting Zak’s warmly. “Just a few more minutes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EMOTIONS! I really hope you enjoyed this chapter. I'd love to hear what you thought! The next chapter picks up where this left off. So there's more first date goodness to come. Thanks for reading!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick note that this chapter talks a bit about suicide in case that's a trigger for you. If it is, feel free to message me and I'll give you the chapter recap! Thank you for reading!

A little while later, after they’d had their fill of spiked cocoa, Zak was feeling warm and happy as they walked down the main cemetery path. He was glad he’d agreed to go out with Nick. It was the first night since he’d moved, well, since the breakup really, that he could remember feeling happy to be where he was.

“It really is beautiful in here.” Zak said, admiring the stretch of intricately carved headstones covered in a fresh layer of white. “I love cemeteries. There’s something so peaceful about them. It’s like the world outside just disappears for a little bit.”  
“Yeah, it really feels like we’re in the middle of nowhere, doesn’t it?”  
“It’s nice.” Zak said, filling his lungs with the crisp winter air. “It’s nice to just...get away sometimes.”  
“What? Moving across the country wasn’t enough for you?” Nick asked with a smirk.   
“I guess not.” Zak chuckled softly.  
“Do you miss home?” Nick asked, eyes curious.   
“Every day.” Zak said honestly. He felt an unmistakable twist in his stomach at the thought of home.   
“I can’t imagine leaving my family and friends like that. It must have been a really bad breakup.” 

Zak lowered his eyes, paying special attention to the crunch of his feet in the snow.   
“I’m sorry...I wasn’t thinking. We don’t have to talk about it.” Nick said, hand resting on Zak’s wrist.   
“No, that’s okay. It was.” Zak said, trying to wrap his brain around how to explain it, or if he should even try. “It’s like having everything pulled out from under you. Everything you’ve come to know about yourself is gone. Anything that made you feel happy and safe is somehow tied to him and now you can’t watch that show because it makes you think of him. You can’t walk down that street, because that’s the park where he kissed you for the first time. You can’t shop at that grocery store because that’s the one _he_ goes to and running into him would kill you. It sucked. It still sucks, but it hurts a little less being so far away. At least this way I know I can go for a walk, or get something to eat without every little thing reminding me that he doesn’t love me anymore.”

It was more than he meant to say, but it poured out of him like water. He realized it had been quite some time since he had talked to anyone about what was going on inside his head. The topic was off limits with his family and his friends were too afraid to bring it up and send him spiraling. He realized now how much he had needed to talk about it.   
“I’m so sorry, Zak.” Nick said sincerely. “I shouldn’t have said anything. I can’t imagine what you’re going through.”  
“No, it’s okay.” Zak said, feeling slightly embarrassed by his outburst. “I’m not sure where all that came from...sorry to dump that all over you. I’m a great date, huh?” he added with an awkward chuckle. 

Nick stopped walking, turning to face him in the moonlight.   
“I asked because I want to get to know you, Zak. And this is a part of who you are. So if I’m gonna spend time with you, I need to understand that.”  
“ _If_ you’re gonna spend time with me.” Zak echoed, feeling his stomach drop. Had he really already messed this up?  
Nick smiled, taking a step toward Zak and placing his hands on the older man’s arms.   
“I know I want to spend time with you. The more I get to know you, the more I want to know about you. I’m just trying to be mindful of where you’re at right now. I don’t want to push you if you’re not ready. And I don’t want to get my hopes up if you’re not interested.”  
“Interest isn’t the issue.” Zak said sincerely. “And I know I can’t ask you to wait around forever while I figure this out, but if you can just give me a little time…”  
“I can wait.” Nick said. “But in the meantime, can we still be friends?”  
“Of course.” Zak said, smile spreading across his lips. “I’d like that.” He was relieved. Nick was his only friend in Boston, and he’d hate to lose the one person he had to talk to.  
“Good.” Nick said with a nod. “So, _friend_...where should we start?”  
Zak grinned at the younger man, taking a moment to survey the grounds. “What about back there by the mausoleums?”  
“Great idea.” Nick agreed

“I’m always a little creeped out by these things.” Zak admitted as they made their way through the little village of mausoleums. “It’s just so weird to think there are whole families in there, locked away forever.”  
“It’s kinda cool.” Nick said “They get to be together forever.”  
“Yeah, I guess...Do you think anyone ever goes inside?”  
“I don’t know?” Nick said, climbing the steps of one of the small buildings to peek through the window. “Doesn’t looks like anyone’s been in here for years. There’s cobwebs everywhere.”  
“Doesn’t that creep you out?” Zak asked, alarmed. “What if there was a face in there staring back at you?”  
Nick chuckled, coming back down to join Zak.   
“I’d probably take some pictures and see if they felt like talking.”  
“You _would not_.” Zak said, doubtfully. “You’d be too busy running away, screaming.”  
“Hey, give me a little credit.” Nick chuckled. “I think I could hold my own. I may not be as experienced as you, but I’ve seen some things.”  
“Oh, I know that.” Zak replied, hoping he hadn’t sounded like a smartass. “I can tell you with certainty that if I put my face in that window and saw another face staring back at me, there would be a Zak-sized hole in that cemetery wall.”

A laugh rang out of Nick and Zak felt himself smile. Nick’s happiness was infectious.   
“I’m serious.” Zak chuckled.  
“Even after everything you’ve seen?”   
“Just because I’ve seen stuff doesn’t mean I’m not still scared shitless.”   
“Try it.” Nick said, mischievous grin spreading across his lips. “Face your fears.”  
“Are you drunk?” Zak asked in mock outrage.   
“Not yet.” Nick grinned. “You really won’t try? I’m right here. I’m not gonna let anything get you.”  
Zak bit his lip, thinking it over for a moment. “Ugh...fine.” he relented. “But if I see something, you’re covering the therapy bill.”  
“Deal.” Nick chuckled. 

Zak took a deep breath, ascending the steps of the mausoleum. He just had to take a quick look and then they could move on. He pressed his nose to the window, feeling the chill of the glass against his skin. It was dark inside, and it took a moment for his eyes to adjust. 

Soon the interior came into focus. It was dark and dusty. Random leaves scattered across the floor, having found their way in through the small crack below the door. His eyes found the two concrete tombs lying side-by-side against the walls of the building, silent and cold. But as he watched, a smile pulled at his lips. 

He smelled the sweet nectar of freshly cut flowers, warm bread straight from the oven and the familiar, soft scent of her perfume. He felt her sweet lips against his, warm and inviting after a long day. Heard her laugh ring out, igniting his soul. And he knew in his heart, she was the reason he existed. Without her, he was nothing. 

Zak closed his eyes as the light seemed to shift, casting black shadows over him, pressing him into darkness. He heard her soft cries, felt her hands, so cold and fragile. He saw the blood she tried to hide as she coughed into her white handkerchief. He felt his heart twist until it ripped right out of his chest. He didn’t need it anymore. Not if she wasn’t here. Not if he was alone. 

He felt the cool metal against his temple, hot tears tracing a path down his cheek. She was gone and the grief pulled at his every breath. He wondered if it would hurt, but he didn’t care. No amount of physical pain could be worse than what he felt now. He whispered a final prayer that she’d be waiting for him when he opened his eyes. And then he squeezed the trigger. 

“No!” Zak yelled, jumping back from the door. Tears streaked his face. He didn’t know when he’d started crying, but he felt warm hands at his back. He turned to find Nick, eyes wide with concern.   
“Zak? Zak, it’s okay. Can you hear me? It’s okay.”  
Zak nodded, working to catch his breath as tears continued to stream down his cheeks.   
“What happened? Did you see something?”  
“No. I don’t...I don’t know.” Zak stammered. His head was spinning and he couldn’t wrap his mind around what had just happened.   
“Here, sit down.” Nick said, reaching down to wipe the snow from the steps. “Catch your breath.”  
Zak nodded, taking a seat. He lowered his head into his hands, wiping his eyes on his coat sleeve as his heart rate started returning to normal. Nick sat quietly, shoulders stiff with concern as he watched Zak. 

“Are you okay?” Nick asked after a few moments.   
“Yeah. I’m sorry.” Zak said, feeling embarrassment flush his face. “That was a bad one.”  
“Don’t apologize.” Nick said as his hand found Zak’s forearm. “I shouldn’t have pushed you.”  
“It’s not your fault.” Zak said, glassy eyes meeting Nick’s. “These things happen out of the blue, there’s no way to avoid it.”  
“I’ve never seen anything like that before... I didn’t know what to do, how to help.”  
“You did great.” Zak said sincerely. “Honestly, the best thing is just having someone there when I come out of it. It helps me calm down.”   
“Is it always that intense?” Nick asked.  
“No, not always. But sometimes.” He looked at Nick, hoping he wasn’t scaring him away.   
“I’m really sorry, that must be awful.”  
Zak shrugged. “It’s worse when I’m alone.”   
“Are they ever happy feelings?” Nick asked, leaning in intently.   
“Yeah, sometimes they are.” Zak said with an easy smile. “This one actually started out happy. But the thing is, most of these people are stuck here. At least, I think they are. So all I feel is their sadness and their loneliness.”  
“But this one started out happy?”  
“It did.”

“Sorry, please tell me to shut up if you don’t want to talk about it...I’m just interested.”  
“That’s okay.” Zak said with a smile. “I don’t mind. What do you wanna know?”  
“Everything.” Nick said. “Is it like a vision? Or do you only feel things? Does it ever hurt physically? Do you know it’s happening when it happens?”  
Zak couldn’t help the smile that stretched across his lips as Nick went on and on.  
“Sorry, too many questions.” Nick said, embarrassed chuckle escaping his lips.   
“That’s okay.” Zak chuckled. “It all kind of depends on the situation. Sometimes it’s just a feeling I get. Other times I get flashes of images, sounds, smells...This one was really powerful. It was the husband,” Zak explained, leaning to check the name on the mausoleum wall. “Mr. Murphy.”

“It started out as flashes of his wife. Happy memories. The sound of her laugh, the smell of her perfume, how it felt to kiss her. He loved her so much. It was like I could feel that love in my own heart, you know?” He felt his throat constrict as he tried to find the words to explain. This was all hitting a little too close to home. “It was the kind of love that swells up inside you until there isn’t room for anything else. It was all consuming and beautiful. But then, she started to get sick…and it was like everything just crumbled. And eventually she passed, and the sadness was debilitating. He couldn’t take it anymore. He just wanted to be with her. So he killed himself.”  
“Woah…” Nick said. “You got all of that in 30 seconds?”  
“Is that all it was? It felt longer.” Zak said, still feeling the distant echo of sadness.   
“You yelled ‘no’.”  
“What?” Zak asked, confusion clouding his face.   
“At the end, right before you snapped back, you yelled ‘no’.  
“Oh.” Zak nodded. “I could feel the gun against my head -- well, _his_ head. And I knew how much pain he was in, how he felt like he’d never recover from losing her. But I just didn’t want him to go through with it. I wanted him to try and find his way out the other side. To see if he could be happy again without her. It was dumb...I mean, obviously, he went through with it.”

“It’s not dumb.” Nick said, resting a hand on top of Zak’s.   
Zak looked up, finding the younger man’s eyes. They were soft and kind as they looked into his.  
“You’ll be happy again, Zak. Just give it some time.”  
Zak’s heart was a lump in his throat as he tried to make his mouth form words that wouldn’t make him cry. He settled for a nod and a grateful smile.   
“Come here.” Nick said, leaning toward him, arms extended. “Don’t worry, it’s only a hug.”  
A strangled laugh escaped Zak’s lips as he let himself be wrapped up in Nick’s arms. He closed his eyes, breathing in Nick’s warmth and allowing himself to feel safe and protected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot HANDLE these sweet little cinnamon rolls. It's too much! I really hope you're enjoying the story so far! I just started writing chapter 8 and I love the direction the story is taking. Stay tuned for more!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and special thanks to those who take the time to comment. It means a lot!


	6. Chapter 6

Zak sat cross legged on the hardwood floor, rifling through one of the last few boxes he’d been putting off unpacking. This one was stuffed with random objects that had had no place in his last apartment. Things, that if he’d had more time to consider, he probably would have left behind. But now they were here. And truthfully, his apartment could use the help. It was looking pretty bare with only half of what he was used to owning hardly filling out the space. 

He pulled out a coffee table book his mother had given him a few years back for Christmas. He didn’t have a coffee table anymore, but at least he had a book. He let out a humorless chuckle, tossing the book to the side as he continued looking through the box. He pulled out the pouch where he kept the ticket stubs from all his favorite movies and concerts. He was happy he’d remembered to grab that. He’d been collecting those stubs since he could remember and there were lots of great memories in there. 

He moved to pull out his jar full of guitar picks when he saw it tucked away in the bottom of the box. He had grabbed it in a moment of weakness, and he felt his heart seize in his chest as he pulled it from the box. It was the only picture he’d let himself take. It was his favorite. They took it the day they’d decided to drive to the coast and Zak couldn’t remember a time he’d ever seen himself look happier. 

He couldn’t understand what had changed between that day and now to make him fall out of love. He looked happy too, smiling as he pressed his forehead to Zak’s, arm wrapped securely around his neck. Zak could still feel the weight of his arm and the warmth of his breath as if he was still right there next to him. But he wasn’t. 

He set the picture up on another box, bringing his knees up to his chest as he sat facing it. He knew he shouldn’t, but he let himself look at it and get lost in the memory of that day and all the days that followed. His phone vibrated in his pocket, pulling him from the New Year’s Eve they spent skiing in Colorado. He grabbed for his phone, face pulling into a smile as he saw a familiar name on the screen.

“Andy!” Zak said, excitedly. “Hey, man.”  
“Hey, buddy.” Andy’s voice came through the receiver, comforting Zak like a bowl of his mother’s chicken and rice soup. “How ya been?”  
“Okay.” Zak said. It felt like the most honest answer he could muster as he glanced back toward the picture frame.   
“How’s Baw-sten?” Andy asked with his best New England accent.   
“It’s nice...it’s pretty. We’ve already got six inches of snow.”  
“Really? No thank you.” Andy chuckled. “How’s the apartment?”  
“It’s...coming together.” Zak said, looking around at the slightly depressing space. “I need to go furniture shopping. But gotta get a job first.”  
“No bites yet?”  
“I haven’t really even started applying.” Zak admitted.   
“I’m sure you’ll find something.”  
“Yeah...I hope so.” Zak agreed. “So, how is everyone?”  
“We miss you, man.” Andy said sincerely.   
“I miss you guys too. A lot.” Zak said, feeling his throat constrict as he spoke.  
“Well, then come home.” Andy said.   
“I can’t--”  
“I saw him today...Jason.” Andy said timidly. 

Zak sat frozen. He hadn’t allowed himself to say that name out loud or even think it. And hearing it now felt like a hot dagger piercing his stomach.   
“He asked about you.”  
“I don’t care.” Zak lied.   
“He misses you.”  
“Then why hasn’t he called? Or texted or emailed…. It’s been three months. _Three_. And I haven’t heard from him once.”  
“He’s too proud. You know that.” Andy said. “But I know he misses you. I really think you guys could patch things up. I know you can get him back.”  
“I don’t want to have to _convince_ him to be with me.” Zak said, feeling tears rushing toward his eyes. “And even if I did get him back. How do I know he’s not just gonna end it all again? I couldn’t take that, Andy. These past few months have been...unbearable. I can’t do it again.”  
“I know it’s been hard, but maybe this time apart is all he needed, you know? Maybe he’s ready now.”  
“Well, then maybe he’ll finally answer one of my texts.” Zak spat. He hadn’t told anyone that he’d still been texting him. He was embarrassed and way too heartbroken by the lack of response. 

“I didn’t know you were still in touch with him.” Andy said quietly.   
“I wouldn’t say that.” Zak said. “I text him when I’m drunk or lonely or up at 3am thinking through what I could have possibly done to make him stop loving me. But he never answers.”  
The tears were streaming down his cheeks now. He’d been keeping this to himself for months and saying it out loud hurt worse than he expected.   
“Zak, I didn’t know…”   
“I didn’t tell you.” Zak said, voice softening.   
“I’m sorry.” Andy said sincerely.   
“I know.” Zak said. He knew he shouldn’t ask. Either way, the answer was bound to hurt. But he couldn’t help himself. “Did he really say he missed me?”  
“Would it make you feel better or worse if he did?” Andy asked.   
“I don’t know.” Zak admitted. “How did he look?”  
“Like shit.” Andy said without hesitation. “Scrawny and pale…”

Zak chuckled softly. He knew Andy was just humoring him, and he smiled gratefully.   
“...and it looks like he’s growing that mustache again.”  
“Oh, God.” Zak laughed. “That thing was terrible.”  
“It’s a good thing you got out when you did.” Andy said, grin in his voice.   
“Yeah, I guess so.” Zak smiled.   
“Now we just need to find you a strong, sexy rebound to take your mind off things. Have you feeling better in no time.”  
Zak chuckled, rolling his eyes at how easy Andy made it sound.   
“Any hot guys in Beantown?”   
“Oh, um…” Zak hesitated, feeling his cheeks burn as Nick sprung to mind. “I’m not interested in a rebound.”  
“Come on, man. I think it’ll be good for you. Have a little fun...release a little pent up tension…”  
“Dude…”  
“Alright, alright. Just consider it.” Andy said. “I hate to think of you cooped up in your apartment, scratching little x’s into all your pictures of Jason.”

There it was again. That name. It hurt every time.  
“Just promise me you’re trying to make some friends.” Andy said.   
“I am.” Zak said. “I already met this one guy, Nick. We’ve hung out a couple times.”  
“Nick, huh?” Andy asked. Zak could practically hear his eyebrows raising as he spoke.   
“Yeah, Nick.”  
“So what’s he like? Is he hot?”  
“Why is that the first thing you ask?” Zak scoffed.   
“Why are you answering a question with a question?” Andy teased.   
“He’s cool. And he’s nice and we get along well.” Zak said succinctly.   
“So he’s ugly.”  
“I didn’t say that--”  
“So, he’s hot?”  
“I…” Zak stammered, face flushed.  
“I knew it.” Andy said, clearly satisfied.  
“You’re exhausting.” Zak chuckled.   
“You like him.”   
“I’m not ready.” Zak said, honestly.   
“Okay...just do me a favor, don’t wait too long? Good people are hard to find. So if he’s a good guy, don’t let him slip away.”  
“Okay.” Zak nodded. “I miss you, man.”  
“Then pick up the phone and call me every once in awhile.” Andy teased.   
“I know, I’m sorry.”   
“I miss you too, buddy. And if you change your mind about this whole Boston thing, my couch is yours.”  
“Thanks.” Zak said with a smile. “I’ll remember that.”  
“Good. And next time I see Jason, I’ll kick him in the balls for not returning your messages.”  
Zak forced a chuckle but he could feel his eyes stinging again. “Sounds like a plan.”  
“Talk to you soon.”  
“Bye.” Zak said, hanging up the phone as a tear fell from his eyes.   
He looked back at the picture, sitting there, mocking him. And he let himself cry. It felt good to let it out after trying so hard to keep it bottled up all the time. 

 

Zak flipped through the channels as the late afternoon sun dipped below the horizon, casting a gloom over his empty apartment. This part of the day always depressed him, even under the best circumstances. But especially after he’d spent most of the afternoon crying over... _Jason_. He forced himself to think the name. It hurt, but he knew he was only making it worse by pushing it from his mind. He needed to face it if he was ever going to move on. 

He stared at the ceiling, bored and wondering how he would fill the hours between now and bed. He knew he should probably start job searching, but that sounded overwhelming after the day he’d had. He settled on figuring out what to get for dinner. He picked up his phone, scrolling through local delivery places trying to decide what sounded good when the doorbell rang.

Confused, he hefted himself off the couch, making his way to the intercom.   
“Hello?”  
“Hey, it’s Nick!”   
Zak smiled to himself. He didn’t think they’d made plans, but he was happy for the company.   
“Come on up!” Zak said, buzzing the door. He looked down at his outfit. He’d been in sweats all day and hadn’t bothered changing out of the tattered t-shirt he’d slept in. He grabbed for a sweatshirt hanging from his closet door, smelling it quickly before shrugging it on. Better than nothing. 

“Hi.” Nick said, beaming as he made his way around the corner carrying a 6-pack of beer. “Hope you don’t mind me showing up like this.”  
“No way, come on in.” Zak said with a smile, stepping back from the doorway to let him through.   
Nick’s eyes narrowed as he got closer, studying Zak’s face.   
“I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”  
“Not at all.” Zak said. “I was just watching TV.”  
“Are you okay?” The younger man asked, looking Zak in the eye.  
“Oh…” Zak said, suddenly realizing he probably looked like he’d been crying all day. “Yeah, I’m fine.” he said dismissively.   
“You sure?” Nick asked, his hand resting lightly on Zak’s arm.   
“I’m better now.” Zak said with a sincere smile.   
Nick beamed back at him. “Good.”

“Well, come on in.” Zak said, unable to wipe the smile from his face. Nick seemed to have that effect on him. “Can I get you anything?”  
“A bottle opener?” Nick asked, raising the 6-pack.   
“Oh, I just saw mine…” Zak said, heading over toward the box he’d been unpacking earlier. He paused when he saw the picture of him and Jason still propped up on top.  
“Is that him?” Nick asked.  
“Yeah.” Zak said, laying the picture down flat. “That’s him. Jason.”  
“He’s a good looking guy.” Nick said. “You two look good together.”  
“Yeah...I don’t know why I brought that.” Zak said, digging the bottle opener from the box and handing it to Nick.   
“Because you still love him.” Nick said simply. “I get that.”  
Zak didn’t argue. It was true. And he was pretty sure he would always love Jason. But he didn’t miss the disappointment in Nick’s eyes either.   
“Just try not to torture yourself with it, okay?” Nick said. 

“Yeah, I know.” Zak agreed. “I just found it in the box earlier today. And then my buddy called...and I don’t know, I guess it was just all too much.”  
“You can call me, you know.” Nick said, eyes warm and sincere. “I’m here if you ever need to talk. Even if you just need a shoulder to cry on.”  
“Thanks.” Zak said with a soft smile.   
“I know it’s a little awkward because I have feelings for you...but I’m your friend. At least I hope I am.”  
“You are.” Zak chuckled, stepping a little closer to the younger man.   
“I wanna be there for you when you need me. Even if it _is_ to talk about Jason.”

Zak smiled, nodding gratefully. He knew he wasn’t putting Nick in the best position and he felt bad about it. Especially since Jason seemed to come up every time they were together.   
“Just so you know, I really wish I was ready.” Zak said, hoping to convey how much he meant it. “But I’m not there yet, and you don’t deserve to be someone’s rebound. You’re way too special and I couldn’t do that to you.”  
“You _could_.” Nick smirked playfully.  
“Well, I wouldn’t.” Zak smiled.  
“Fair enough.” Nick conceded. “I can wait.”

Zak felt his cheeks go warm as he smiled at Nick. It felt nice to be wanted. Especially by someone like Nick. And he hoped he wouldn’t find a way to ruin it.   
“Beer?” Nick asked, popping the top off a bottle.   
“Sure. Thanks.” Zak said, taking a long drink.   
“What are we watching?” Nick asked, popping the top off a second bottle before sinking into the couch.   
“Just something stupid.” Zak said, taking a seat next to him, hardly leaving space between their bodies. It had been an emotionally draining day and he was happy to have Nick around to pull him from his gloom. He leaned into him as he took a long drink from his beer. The younger man accepted the weight, wrapping his arm around Zak’s shoulder as they sat.  
“I like stupid.” Nick grinned.  
“You hungry?” Zak asked.   
“Yeah. Pizza?”  
“Sounds good.” Zak agreed, not bothering to move just yet. Not when he finally felt relaxed. “I’ll order it in a minute.”  
“No rush.” Nick said, wrapping his arm a bit tighter around Zak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah...they're "just friends". This is honestly one of my favorite stages of the relationship to write. I think it's fun to have them floating somewhere between friends and boyfriends. I hope you like it too. Thanks, as always, for reading!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick picks Zak up for a fun night out with Aaron.

Zak looked at his phone as he dried his damp skin with a towel. He had promised himself he wouldn’t spend the day moping around. And so far, he’d sent out some resumes, grocery shopped, signed up for a new gym and got in a good, long workout. He was determined not to let the rest of the day go to waste. 

He was feeling pretty good for the first time in a long time. He was pretty sure it was the combination of endorphins and the bright, sunny day. But he could think of one thing that he knew would make him feel even better. He picked up his phone, keying in a quick message to Nick. 

_Hey._

He threw the phone back on the bed as he shrugged on his clothes. Sure enough, his phone buzzed a few moments later. 

_Hey. How was the gym?_  
_It was nice. I ended up signing up.  
Awesome! I’m glad you liked it. Now we can workout together._

Zak smiled to himself, happy that Nick didn’t seem to be getting bored of him yet. He had started to worry he was relying on the younger man’s company a bit too much. But if Nick still wanted to spend time with him, he wasn’t going to argue. 

_You busy tonight?_

He waited while Nick typed, feeling nervous about being let down after he’d had such a good day. 

_I’ve got plans with Aaron tonight. You remember him from the walking tour? You should come!  
Oh, that’s okay. I don’t wanna crash your plans._ Zak said. He felt awkward about imposing. Especially if Nick was only offering to be nice. 

His phone rang, and he looked down to see Nick’s name on the screen. He smiled as he answered the call.  
“Hello?”  
“Come on, man. Come! It’ll be fun. Aaron won’t mind, I promise.”  
“No, I feel bad.”  
“Why? I want you to come.”  
“This isn’t a pity invite, right? Because I’ll be fine on my own...” Zak said. It was a partial truth.  
“It’s not a pity invite.” Nick chuckled. “I wanna hang out with you, and I want you to get to know Aaron. He didn’t make a great first impression last time, but he’s been asking about you.”  
“He has?”  
“Yeah, I might’ve been talking about you a little bit…” Nick said, smirk in his voice. “He’s intrigued.”  
Zak smiled to himself.  
“So will you come?” Nick asked hopefully.  
“Yeah, okay.” Zak agreed. “What are we doing?”  
“Don’t worry about it.” Nick smirked.  
“What does that mean?” Zak chuckled.  
“I’ll pick you up in an hour.” Nick said.  
Then, the line went dead.  
“Nick?” Zak said, looking down to see that the younger man had hung up. Whatever Nick had planned, he clearly didn’t think Zak would like it. 

 

Exactly an hour later, the doorbell rang and Zak made his way over to the intercom.  
“Hello?”  
“It’s me!” Nick announced.  
“Be right down.” Zak said, grabbing his coat. The bell rang a second time and Zak paused, pressing the button again.  
“Hello?”  
“I need to come up for a minute.”  
“Oh, okay.” Zak said, buzzing him up. He left the door open, quickly stashing his dirty dishes in the kitchen.  
“Hey!” He heard Nick say as he walked into the apartment.  
“Hey.” Zak said, smiling as he made his way into the living room. “I wasn’t sure what we’re doing tonight...am I dressed okay?”  
He had settled on jeans and a fitted black shirt with his favorite snapback hat. It was admittedly casual, and he hoped he wasn’t too underdressed.  
Nick smiled, giving him an appreciative once over.  
“You look...good.” the younger man said, eyes finding Zak’s.  
Zak smiled bashfully, feeling his skin go warm.  
“But unfortunately, we’re gonna need a costume change.” Nick added with a sly grin. 

Zak’s eyes narrowed suspiciously as Nick dropped a bag on the couch. He unzipped his coat, revealing a UNLV basketball jersey.  
“It’s college night at Scotty’s.” he said, grin still plastered on his lips.  
“What? Who’s Scotty?”  
Nick chuckled. “It’s a local bar. They do this once a year. You have to dress in your college gear. There’s drinking games, music…”  
“Nick, I’m 29.”  
“And I’m 27. What’s your point?” he chuckled. “Besides, it’s not for college kids. It’s for adults who want to live a little. Don’t we deserve to live a little, Zak?

Zak couldn’t help the grin that pulled at his lips. It did sound like fun. A nice escape from reality.  
“Yeah, okay.” he agreed. “Only one problem. I left all my college stuff in Chicago.”  
“I got you covered.” Nick smirked, pulling a jersey from his bag and tossing it Zak’s direction. “From my track and field days.”  
“You really do think of everything.” Zak chuckled. “Track and field, huh?”  
“Yep.”  
“And what’s that one? He asked, nodding toward the jersey Nick wore.  
“This would be basketball.”  
“Talk about athletic.” Zak nodded approvingly. “Am I gonna look like a total dork if I wear my shirt under this?”  
“Kind of.” Nick admitted, smile pulling at his lips.  
“Okay.” Zak chuckled, suddenly very aware that he was about to take his shirt off in front of Nick. He felt his skin flush as he took off his hat, pulling the black shirt over his head. He avoided Nick’s eyes, but he could feel the younger man’s gaze sweep across his skin. His heart beat quick in his chest as he pulled the jersey on.  
“Can I keep the hat?” he asked, finally meeting Nick’s eyes.  
The younger man smiled back at him, eyes dark and inviting and Zak felt his mouth go dry.  
“Yeah, the hat looks good.” Nick said, peeling his eyes away. “We better get going.”  
“Okay.” Zak said, still working to catch his breath. 

 

The music thumped in the soles of Zak’s shoes as they made their way into the bar. The place was packed. Normally, these were the types of situations he tried to avoid, but tonight it felt invigorating to be lost in a sea of people.  
“I love this song!” Zak yelled, leaning in close to Nick. He hadn’t heard it since...well, _college_ , he guessed.  
Nick smiled, eyes lighting up the way they did whenever he was excited.  
“Wanna dance?”  
“Oh, God...you don’t wanna see that.” Zak laughed. “I only dance when I’m drunk.”  
“We better get you a drink then.” Nick grinned, grabbing Zak by the arm and leading him to the bar. 

He flagged a bartender, ordering two double whiskeys.  
“Straight for the liquor, huh?” Zak chuckled, accepting one of the glasses.  
“You know what they say, ‘liquor before beer’. Cheers.”  
“Cheers.” Zak smiled, clinking glasses with the younger man before knocking back the entire glass.  
“Damn!” Nick laughed, eyes going wide. “That wasn’t a shot.”  
“I thought we were living a little.” Zak said, daringly.  
“Well, alright then.” Nick smirked, finishing his drink in one gulp. “Can I get two more?” he asked, signaling the bartender.  
“I got this round.” Zak said, handing Nick a 20.  
“Don’t worry about it.” Nick said, pushing his hand away. “I got it.”  
“Fine. But I’m getting the next one.” Zak insisted. 

“Aaron found table.” Nick said, looking at his phone. “Come on.” He led the way into another section of the bar.  
The walls were covered in the flags of just about every college and university Zak could think of. Foam fingers and condoms hung from the ceiling by string and colorful lights pulsed along to the beat of the music.  
“They have flippy cup!” Zak said, excitedly pointing toward a long, folding table lined with players. “I used to dominate at that game.”  
“They have beer pong too.” Nick smiled. “And king’s cup.”  
“Oh man, I haven’t played king’s cup in years!”  
“Well, tonight’s the night.” Nick grinned. “We just gotta find Aaron first…”  
“There he is.” Zak said, pointing through the crowd to a table where Aaron sat, drinking a beer and chatting up a pretty brunette.  
“Looks like he’s doing alright.” Nick chuckled as they made their way to the table. 

“Hey, man!” Aaron said.  
“Hey.” Nick said, bringing his fist to bump Aaron’s.  
“Hey, Zak. Nice to see you again.” Aaron said, extending his hand.  
Zak shook it, smiling happily. “You too.” It felt nice to have another person in Boston who actually knew his name. 

“Guys, this is Erica. Erica, this is Nick and Zak.”  
“Nice to meet you.” Nick said, reaching out to shake her hand.  
“Nice to meet you.” Zak echoed.  
Zak took off his coat, taking the seat next to Nick. He glanced over as Nick removed his own coat. He looked good in his jersey, and Zak found his eyes tracing the lines of his lean muscle. Yeah, he would have definitely been into Nick if they’d met in college. 

“So, how do you two know each other?” Nick asked, eyeing Aaron.  
“We met at Kevin’s party the other night. You know, the one you skipped to hang out with this guy.” Aaron said, signaling toward Zak.  
This was the first Zak had heard of the party, but he hoped Aaron wasn’t upset about Nick skipping it to spend time with him.  
“Maybe I should skip parties more often.” Nick joked. “Give you a chance…”  
Aaron laughed. It was the kind of laugh that rose up from inside him and it was contagious.  
“Fair enough, bro.” he said lightheartedly.  
“You found yourself a good guy, Erica.” Nick said, patting Aaron on the shoulder.  
“It seems like it.” Erica said with a smile, wrapping her arm around Aaron’s. 

They were cute together. They had that new relationship glow and Zak smiled as he watched them.  
“So, Zak. How are you liking Boston?” Aaron asked, pulling Zak from his thoughts.  
“It’s different...but I like it. Nick’s been great about showing me around. He took me to the best burger place the other day. He even let me drag him to some of the touristy stuff.”  
“It sounds like you two have been spending lots of time together.” Aaron said.  
“Yeah...I guess I’ve been hogging him a little bit.” Zak admitted.  
“That’s okay.” Aaron chuckled, “We’re all sick of him anyway.”  
Nick rolled his eyes, chuckling.  
“So you’re new to Boston?” Erica asked.  
“Yeah, just moved here from Chicago a little over three months ago.”  
“Oh, I love Chicago.”  
“Me too.” Zak smiled, feeling the familiar sting of homesickness. It wasn’t as strong as it used to be, but it was still there.  
“So, then why’d you leave?” Erica asked.  
“Just wanted a change.” Zak said. He could already feel his face flushing with Nick’s eyes on him. He was pretty sure Aaron knew the truth too. 

“Well, I can see how that would be a change!” Erica said. “That’s cool though. I’ve always thought about doing that. Just picking up and starting over somewhere else. It sounds liberating.”  
“Yeah, in some ways it is.” Zak agreed.  
“Why Boston?” Aaron asked.  
“Honestly?” Zak started. “I knew I wanted to be in a city that had seasons and New York sounded way too big. I’ve always loved the East Coast. I’ve actually only been to Boston once for a long weekend when I was a kid. But something about it stuck. I always knew I’d be back. I just assumed it would be a little less permanent.” he chuckled.  
“Well, you couldn’t have picked a better town.” Aaron said. “And I know Nick’s happy to have you here.”  
Zak smiled bashfully, meeting Nick’s eyes.  
“Yeah, he’s alright.” Nick grinned. 

“So, what’s the deal?” Aaron asked, “Are you guys dating, or what?”  
“Aaron.” Nick warned. “I told you, we’re just hanging out.”  
“So, you’re just ‘hanging out’, and no one’s taking their pants off?” Aaron pressed.  
“Dude…” Nick said, shooting daggers at Aaron.  
“It’s kinda complicated...” Zak said, awkwardly.  
“What’s complicated? Aaron asked. “Nick’s a great guy.”  
“I know he is.” Zak said sincerely.  
“The best there is. And it’s been _sooo_ long since he’s been in a relationship.”  
“Aaron…” Nick tried again.  
“What? It’s true.” Aaron said, begging Nick to challenge him. “ I always tell him he’s too picky. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen him get a phone number. He doesn’t even try. They just come to him. Guys, girls, it doesn’t matter.”  
“That’s not true--”  
“But I could tell when he saw you at that walking tour...his eyes just lit up. I’ve never seen him like that before. And now he can’t shut up about you.”

Zak smiled, shifting his eyes toward the younger man. Nick smiled bashfully as he looked back at him, giving a little shrug. Clearly, he wasn’t denying what Aaron said. Zak reached over, giving Nick’s leg a discreet squeeze. But the younger man caught his hand in his own and Zak’s stomach did a flip as Nick laced their fingers together under the table.  
“I’m just saying…” Aaron continued, oblivious, “It’s clear you like spending time together. I guess I just don’t know what’s stopping you.”  
“We’re just taking things slow, okay?” Nick said.  
“I just wanna make sure he’s not stringing you along.” Aaron said, seriously. “I don’t mean to offend you.” he said, directing his glance to Zak. “But Nick’s one of my best friends, and I don’t know you very well. I just don’t want to see him get hurt.”  
“I wouldn’t do that.” Zak said sincerely. “I care about him.” He said, turning to face Nick.  
Nick squeezed Zak’s hand in his, smiling softly.  
“Okay.” Aaron said. “I just gotta watch out for my boy here, you understand.”  
“Of course.” Zak nodded. “No offense taken.”

“Okay, so now that we’re done with the third degree, think we can have a little fun?” Nick asked with a hint of warning in his voice.  
“Yeah, yeah....” Aaron chuckled.  
“Good.” Nick said. “I’m gonna go get us another round, and when i get back, Zak and I are gonna kick your asses in beer pong.”  
“Yeah, we’ll see about that.” Aaron chuckled.  
“Lemme help you.” Zak said, standing to join Nick. Aaron seemed ready to move on and have a good time, but Zak still felt a little awkward being left alone with him. 

“Sorry about that.” Nick said, when they’d gotten out of earshot. “I told him we weren’t together.”  
“That’s okay.” Zak said, “He’s your friend, and I get why he’d be concerned. I mean, this thing we have going...it’s kind of confusing.”  
Nick nodded, quietly agreeing.  
“I just hope you don’t feel like I’m leading you on.” Zak said sincerely.  
“I know what I got myself into.” Nick said, casually.

Zak stopped, grabbing him by the arm so they stood facing each other. He wanted to make sure Nick heard this.  
“Nick, you’re important to me. You’re the best part of most of my days. You’re pretty much the only thing that’s kept me going these past few months. And I wouldn’t be doing all this if I didn’t have feelings for you.”  
Nick looked back at him, eyes clouded as a humorless chuckle escaped his lips.  
“You say things like that, and you look at me with those eyes... and I’m not supposed to kiss you?”  
Zak’s stomach twisted in the surprising and delicious way it did when Nick caught him off guard. It felt like a sudden gravitational pull toward the younger man, and in that moment, he wanted to follow it. 

“Who’s stopping you?” Zak asked, eyes searching Nick’s.  
Nick smiled softly, shaking his head. “No, not like this. Not because you feel bad.”  
Nick’s words felt like a punch in the gut, and Zak’s eyes lowered as he absorbed the familiar sensation of rejection.  
“ _When_ I kiss you,” Nick started, index finger propping Zak’s face back to eye level. “I want it to be because you want me to.”  
Zak smiled, feeling his skin go warm at the determination in Nick’s eyes. Clearly, the younger man wasn't giving up on him.  
“Now, let’s get those drinks. We have a game of beer pong to win.” Nick said, with a smirk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> KISS ALREADY! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! The next one picks up on the same night. Thanks so much for reading and commenting!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter picks up where chapter 7 left off. It's college night at the local bar and Zak and Nick challenge Aaron and Erica to a game of beer pong.

Zak tried to focus as he swayed lightly, ping pong ball poised at the ready. They were tied with Aaron and Erica, two games each and it all came down to this last cup.   
“Come on, Zak. You got this. Just focus.” Nick urged.   
“Miss it!” Aaron called from across the table, flapping his arms as a distraction.   
“You got this, Zak.” Nick repeated. 

Zak took a breath, carefully releasing the ball with a flick of his wrist and sending it sailing directly toward the last cup.   
“No!” Aaron yelled, as the ball plopped into the cup, splashing beer on the table.  
Zak couldn’t help the excited scream that escaped his mouth. And before he knew it, Nick had him around the waist, lifting him up off the ground.   
“You did it!” he grinned, eyes sparkling and unfocused the way they got when he’d had too much to drink. “You did it!”  
Zak grinned back, drinking in the happiness on Nick’s face and the way his smile crinkled at the corners of his eyes. Laughter rose from the younger man, and Zak could feel the vibrations of it against his skin as Nick held him tight. 

“God, you two need to kiss already.” Aaron said. “For real.”  
Zak chuckled awkwardly as Nick lowered him back to the ground. He dropped his eyes, taking a moment to readjust his shirt.   
“Don’t be mad because you lost. And now we’re the reigning champions.” Nick challenged.   
“Dude, you won by one cup.” Aaron argued.   
“A win is still a win.” Nick smirked.   
“Whatever…” Aaron said, dismissively. “You need another drink?" He asked, turning to Erica.   
“Sure.” she said, brightly. “I’ll come with you.”   
“We’ll see you losers later.” Aaron joked, wrapping an arm around Erica as they made their way toward the bar. 

Nick chuckled, rolling his eyes as he turned to face Zak.   
“Sore loser.”  
“Well, he was talking a lotta shit.” Zak laughed.   
“Yeah, but we showed him.” Nick said, permanent smile etched on his lips.   
“Yeah, we did.” Zak nodded.  
Zak’s face brightened as a new song came on, booming through the speakers. It was a favorite of his from high school, and he grabbed for Nick’s hand, pulling him toward the dance floor. 

“Let’s dance!” he yelled, not that Nick had a choice in the matter. But he didn’t think the younger man would argue.   
The bass pounded through the room as Nick’s hands found Zak’s hips. It was loud and Zak was just drunk enough to lose himself completely in the rhythm. His hands traveled over Nick’s back and chest as the younger man’s hips moved in time with his. It felt good to touch Nick like this, to feel the heat of the younger man’s body against his. 

Nick’s hands wandered too, exploring Zak’s arms and back before finding their way to his ass and pulling him in even closer. Zak’s heart pounded in his chest as Nick’s dark eyes found his. The younger man smirked as he continued moving his hips against Zak’s.   
Nick was good at this, and Zak felt that gravitational shift again, pulling him toward the younger man. He didn’t know if it was the rush of the night, or the alcohol or if it was just Nick, but it was intoxicating. 

“You’re really good at this.” Nick said, leaning in so Zak could hear him.   
Zak felt his face pull into a smile. “So are you.” he said, letting his lips brush over Nick’s ear. “So sexy…”  
It was more than he might have said without the alcohol, but he knew he meant it. And he was happy to feel Nick smile against his neck. He pulled back, looking into the younger man’s eyes. He hoped maybe Nick would kiss him, but the younger man grabbed his hand instead, spinning him around so that Zak’s back was against his front. Nick’s hands trailed the line to Zak’s hips as their bodies once again found the rhythm. 

 

Zak had no idea how long they’d been dancing. The alcohol had taken over a while ago and he had just let himself sink into Nick. Sweat beaded at his forehead and his mouth was dry, but he didn’t want to stop. Nick was sweaty too and his glistening arms wrapped tightly around Zak’s body, until there was no space between them.  
“Are you thirsty?” Nick called over the music. “I’m thirsty.”   
“Yeah.” Zak nodded.   
“Should we take a break?”  
“Okay.” Zak said, reluctantly. But now that he took a minute to stop and think about it, his feet were killing him. “Maybe we could sit down for a little bit?”  
“Sure. Why don’t you go grab that table and I’ll get us some drinks?”  
Zak nodded. He knew it was his turn to buy this round, but the desire to sit down won out. 

He found an open table fairly quickly now that everyone had made their way out to the dance floor. He felt a smile on his lips. He hadn’t even realized it was there, but that seemed to be happening a lot now that he was spending his time with Nick.  
He looked over at the younger man standing at the bar and he allowed his eyes to wander across the lean muscle of his arms. He could still feel the warmth and weight of those arms wrapped around his waist, pulling him in, and he wondered how long it would be before he could feel it again. 

In his rational mind, he knew how much he’d had to drink. He thought of the way Nick had turned down his advances earlier in the night and his skin reddened at the memory. But Nick was right. It wouldn’t have been right. Not like this. Still his smile spread as the younger man turned back toward the table, two beers and two ice waters in his hands.   
“I figured we should probably hydrate.” he said, handing Zak one of the glasses of water. “Otherwise tomorrow’s gonna be miserable.”  
“Good idea.” Zak agreed, taking a long and much needed drink. “I didn’t realize how hot I was.”  
“Well, you’d be the only one then.” Nick smirked, eyes holding on Zak’s.   
Zak chuckled, feeling his stomach flip at the compliment.   
“That was fun.” Nick continued. “I like dancing with you.”   
“Me too.” Zak smiled. “This whole night has been so much fun. Thanks for convincing me to come out.”  
“Thanks for putting up with Aaron.” Nick chuckled.   
Zak couldn’t help but chuckle himself. “I like him.” he said sincerely. “He comes on a little strong, but I can see how much he cares about you.”  
“Yeah, he’s a good guy.” Nick agreed. “And he doesn’t hate you, you know. He’s just protective.”  
“I know. Well, I _hoped_.” Zak admitted. “Although I’m not sure I’m doing much to help, inviting myself along to your plans and then monopolizing you all night.”  
“Aaron’s fine. Trust me. If you weren’t here, he would have ditched me for Erica hours ago.” Nick said with a laugh. 

“And what would you do?” Zak asked, curiosity peaked.   
“I would’ve called you.” Nick admitted.   
“No, before you knew me.” Zak clarified. “What does Nick Groff do when he finds himself alone at a bar?”   
Nick smirked knowingly, taking a sip from his beer.   
“I’d probably have a seat, order a drink.”  
“Alone?” Zak asked.   
“Depends.” Nick shrugged.   
“On what?”  
“Depends on what kind of mood I’m in, whether anyone catches my eye.”  
“Like I did?” Zak asked, not caring if he sounded cocky.  
“No.” Nick said simply, sending Zak’s brow furrowing. “No one’s ever caught my eye quite like you.”  
Zak smiled bashfully, but he didn’t dare lower his eyes. He kept them locked with Nick’s as the younger man smiled back. 

“What is it about me?” Zak asked. He wasn’t fishing for compliments, he was genuinely curious, and the alcohol coursing through his blood gave him the courage to ask. “I mean, I’m kind of a mess…and you can have anyone.”  
“I don’t want just anyone.”  
“Why do you want me?”  
Nick took a deep breath, clearly searching for the words.   
“Zak, that’s like asking me why I breathe. I can’t explain it, I just have to.” He said, eyes swimming with sincerity. “And that night, when I saw you, and you smiled at me, it was like taking my first breath. It filled me up. And for the first time, I knew what it felt like to really see someone.”  
“Oh.” Zak breathed as his head spun. It was the nicest thing anyone had ever said to him, but try as he might, he couldn’t get his brain to form words. 

Nick looked back at him, face falling as Zak sat silent. “You asked, so…” he trailed off, eyes lowering to the beer he now clutched.   
“Nick--” Zak started, unsure of where he was going with this. He didn’t know what to say and he was afraid of what might come out of his mouth if he tried. 

“There you guys are!” Aaron called, making his way toward the table. “We lost you out there on the dance floor. I thought maybe you might have taken those moves back to the bedroom.” He elbowed Nick suggestively. “I saw you out two out there.”   
“We were just _dancing_ , Aaron.” Nick corrected him harshly. “Nothing else to it.” he added, voice softening a bit as he took a long drink from his beer bottle. “I think I’m gonna call it a night.”  
“What? No.” Zak said, panic rising in his throat. “You can’t go. I thought we were gonna dance again?”  
“My feet hurt and I’m tired...I just wanna go to bed.” he said, standing from the table. 

Zak could feel Aaron’s eyes on him, and when he glanced over, he found the other man staring at him, eyes narrowed.   
“Wait, Nick. Can I talk to you for a second?” Zak asked, ignoring Aaron’s glare and following Nick toward the door.   
“I’m really tired, Zak. Can it wait?” Nick asked, barely making eye contact.   
“No, it can’t.” Zak said, grabbing the younger man by the wrist. “Please. Just stop for a second.”  
Nick stopped, spinning around to face Zak. His eyes shifted awkwardly, unable to settle as he waited expectantly.   
“What you said...it was really beautiful. You just caught me off guard. I’m sorry.”  
“It’s fine, Zak.”  
“No, it’s not. You’re upset.”  
“I’m not upset.” Nick said. “I’m drunk and I’m tired and I’m not thinking straight. I just...I don’t wanna say something I’m gonna regret tomorrow. I promise I’m not mad.”  
Zak nodded, but he knew it was a lie.   
“I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?” Nick said, resting a hand on Zak’s arm, face pulling into an unconvincing smile.  
“Yeah, okay.”

Zak watched him go, feeling his heart drop into his stomach like a brick. After everything he’d done to try and protect Nick’s feelings in all this, he’d still managed to mess it up. He couldn’t help but think how unsurprising that was. He had a habit of messing up the relationships he cared most about. Why should Nick be any different? 

He turned back toward the table to find Aaron watching him, eyes still narrowed as he stared Zak down. He didn’t have the energy to defend himself to Aaron again, not when he didn’t feel like he had a leg to stand on. Of course he didn’t mean to hurt Nick, it was the very last thing he wanted to do. But he had, and there was no explaining that away. He lowered his eyes to the ground, feeling the familiar prickle of forming tears as he made his way toward the exit. 

It had been a while since he’d felt this low. It almost gave him a sense of comfort to know how far he’d come these past months, and he knew he had Nick to thank. But now Nick would start distancing himself, putting up a protective barrier to keep Zak at arms length. He knew that feeling well, the way it carves away at you until there’s nothing left. Until you’re no longer the man he knew, so it doesn’t hurt him to leave. But it hurts you, because he hasn’t changed and you still need him. 

He could feel the loneliness taking over. Every unfamiliar street was a reminder that he had no one here in Boston. No one except Nick. And maybe he didn’t even have him anymore. He took out his phone, needing more than anything to hear a familiar voice. 

“Hello?” Andy answered, voice thick with sleep. “Zak, you okay?”  
“Sorry for calling so late.” Zak said, hearing the way his voice trembled as he spoke.   
“You having another bad night?”  
“Yeah.”   
“What’s going on? You’ve been doing so much better lately.” Andy asked, voice quiet and concerned.   
“Just homesick, I guess.” Zak lied. “I don’t wanna keep you up.”   
“Don’t worry about it.” Andy said.   
A car drove by, honking loudly as another driver cut them off in traffic.   
“Shit Zak, are you wandering outside right now?” Andy asked. “It’s past 2 a.m.”  
“I’m just walking home.”   
“Home from where?”  
“I was out with Nick.” he said, struggling to hide the way his voice wavered.  
“So, what? He just left you to find your own way home?”

Zak was quiet as he swallowed back tears. He hadn’t really wanted to get into it. He just wanted to hear a friendly voice.   
“Zak? Where is he?” Andy pushed.   
“He left.” Zak said, voice giving him away. “I think I messed it up. I think I really messed it up.”  
“What happened?”  
“I don’t even know.” Zak admitted. “We were having a great time...dancing and drinking and laughing. And then I asked him why he liked me. I don’t know why I did it, it just came out.”  
“What did he say?”   
“He said it was like breathing. He couldn’t control it, he just needed it.”  
“Wow…” Andy sighed. “That’s intense. What did you say?”  
“Nothing.” Zak admitted. “That’s the problem! I didn’t say anything because I couldn’t think of anything to say. Nothing seemed right.”  
“Oh man, that must have been embarrassing for him.”  
“I know…” Zak said, miserably. “You should’ve seen his face. I tried to fix it, but I think I made it worse.”  
“Was he mad?”  
“No...I don’t think so. But he was upset. He told me he had to leave before he said something he might regret.”  
“What does that mean?” Andy asked.  
“It means it’s happening again.” Zak said quietly. “I’m losing him the way I lost Jason. And the worst part is that I haven’t even really gotten to be with him. I waited too long and now I’m losing the only person I have out here.” 

Tears streamed from his eyes as he let himself cry, not caring if Andy heard.  
“Zak…” Andy cut in. “You don’t know that you’re losing him. Now, I don’t know Nick, but you’ve told me a lot about him and he doesn’t seem like the type of guy that’s just gonna give up on you like that. He’s been clear from the beginning that he wants to be with you and he’s willing to wait until you’re ready.”  
“What if I made him wait too long?”   
“Zak, if wanting you is like breathing to him...well, he can’t hold his breath forever, can he?”  
Zak felt the slightest glimmer of hope at the prospect. Maybe Andy was right, maybe he hadn’t really lost Nick. Maybe he could still set things right. Either way, he was determined to find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The drama is real. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I'd love to hear what you thought! More to come soon. Thanks so much for reading!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the day after their fight, and Zak isn't sure where he and Nick stand.

Zak rolled over as his phone vibrated on the nightstand. It still felt like the middle of the night and his hangover hit him like a truck as he reached for the phone, not bothering to look before he answered.   
“Hello?” he said, voice hoarse.   
“You alive over there?” Nick answered. Zak could hear the hint of a smile in his voice, however cautious.  
“Barely.” Zak chuckled softly.  
He was surprised to hear from Nick so soon, but he hoped this was a good sign. Maybe the younger man hadn’t given up on him after all.   
“I was actually calling to see if you might want to grab some breakfast? Or lunch, I guess at this point.” he chuckled nervously. “If you want to.”  
“Sure.” Zak agreed. He felt like death, but he’d drag his ass out of bed if it meant patching things up with Nick.   
“Okay, cool. Wanna meet me at the Daily Grill?” Nick asked. “They have great grilled cheese and tomato soup. Good hangover remedy.”  
“Yeah, okay. That sounds great.” Zak said. “I can be there in 30 minutes.”  
“Okay. See you there.” 

 

A little over 30 minutes later, Zak rushed into the restaurant, hair still wet from his shower. He spotted Nick almost immediately, tucked away in a booth near the back of the restaurant. He made his way over, feeling his nerves twist in his stomach.   
“Hi. Sorry I’m late. I got lost.” Zak said, sliding into the booth across from Nick.   
“No worries.” Nick said.   
The younger man sat, wringing his fingers nervously. Zak had never seen him like this before, and it sent a wave of panic over his skin. He couldn’t help but worry that Nick was about to break up with him. Or whatever the equivalent of a breakup would be for two people blurring the lines between friendship and dating the way they had.

“How are you?” Nick asked, eyes shifting to meet Zak’s.   
“Kinda nervous, honestly.” Zak admitted.   
“About what?” Nick asked.   
“Whatever you’re about to say.”  
“Oh…” Nick said, eyes lowering to his hands.   
Before Zak could say another word, a waitress approached, menus in hand. 

“Good afternoon, gentleman. Welcome to the Daily Grill.” she said, handing each of them a menu. “Can I start you off with something to drink?”  
“You know, could we actually have a minute?” Zak interrupted. He knew it was rude, but his heart was pounding in his ears. He just needed to hear whatever Nick was going to say.   
“Oh...sure.” she said, taking the hint. “I’ll be back in a couple minutes.”  
“Nick--” Zak started as she walked away.  
“Zak, just hear me out, please?” Nick interrupted. “I’m sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have left like that. I had too much to drink, and I know you don’t owe me anything...you’ve been so clear with me from the beginning. That wasn’t fair of me, and I’m sorry.”  
Zak sat quietly as the younger man stopped talking long enough to take a breath.   
“Is that what this is all about? You think you owe me an apology?” Zak asked. He might have laughed if it weren’t for the look of distress still etched onto Nick’s face. “Nick, I’m the one that should be apologizing.”  
“For what?” Nick said dismissively. “You’re not obligated to return my feelings.”  
“Yeah, but I do.” he said simply.  
Nick’s eyes shot up, locking with his as he continued.   
“I meant what I said when I told you I care about you. That wasn’t just lip service. The truth is, I think my feelings were starting to scare me a little bit. And when you said those really wonderful things about me, I just kinda froze because I didn’t expect anyone to feel that way about me ever again.”  
“Zak--”  
“So, I owe _you_ the apology.” Zak said, reaching across the table to rest a hand on Nick’s. “I’m sorry that I let you go home thinking that I don’t want you, that I don’t _need_ you. Because that couldn’t be further from the truth.”

Nick smiled, shoulders relaxing as he squeezed Zak’s hand in his.   
“And the truth is,” Zak continued. “I don’t know what I’ve been waiting for. I know how I feel about you.”  
“We don’t have to rush into anything.” Nick protested.  
“Who’s rushing? It’s been months.”   
“I know how you feel about Jason.” Nick said, hint of jealousy in his voice. “I just don’t want you to start something you’re not ready for because you feel bad or guilty or like you owe me something, because you don’t.”  
“I’m not gonna pretend like I don’t still think about Jason and I don’t miss him sometimes, because we both know that would be a lie. But what I _am_ saying is that lately, I’m spending a lot more time thinking about you and a lot less time missing him. And it’s got nothing to do with obligation, Nick. It’s you. I want to be with you. I’m ready for this.”

Nick’s lips spread into a grin that lit up his face, stretching to his eyes as they glowed a brilliant chocolate brown. Zak smiled back, feeling that wonderful, aching twist at his insides. That undeniable pull toward the younger man.   
“So, what do you think?” Zak asked. “You ready to give this a real try?”  
“Are you kidding?” Nick asked, grin spreading. “I’ve been ready since the moment I saw you.”  
Zak’s cheeks sprouted pink as he brought Nick’s hand closer, wrapping it in both of his. “Great.” he said with a smile. “So, what are you doing tonight?”  
“I don’t know…” Nick smirked. “What did you have in mind?”  
“I’ve got some ideas…” Zak said, eyes darkening. “But first I was hoping maybe you’d wanna go out with me?”  
“You mean, like on a date?” Nick asked, feigning surprise.  
“Yeah, you think you can handle it?” Zak joked.   
“I think I’ll manage.” Nick chuckled. “What should we do?”  
“Well, we could go to dinner and movie like those other boring couples…”  
“Nah…” Nick smirked, shaking his head.   
“But I’ve been thinking a lot about the cemetery lately...I wanna go back and see if we can do something to help Mr. Murphy.”  
“The guy from the mausoleum?”   
“Yeah. It’s heartbreaking thinking of him stuck there like that in an eternal state of mourning. I don’t know...maybe there’s something we could do to help?”  
Nick smiled at Zak adoringly. “I love that _that’s_ what you wanna do tonight.”  
“We don’t have to-”  
“Are you kidding? It sounds perfect.” Nick said happily.

 

Zak and Nick walked hand-in-hand down the now familiar, quiet street. Zak couldn’t wipe the smile from his face since the moment Nick had picked him up for their second, first date. He couldn’t help but think about the last time they’d stood in this exact spot only a few months earlier. Zak had been a ball of nerves; enamored by Nick and unsure of himself. He felt like a totally different person now. But Nick was still the same amazing ball of light, bringing happiness into Zak’s life wherever he touched it. 

Soon they found themselves at the end of the block, the tall cemetery wall standing before them. Nick lifted Zak’s hand to his lips, placing a quick kiss to his fingers before releasing them to crouch in front of the wall, hands coming together to form a step.  
“Don’t drop me.” Zak said, still not crazy about this whole wall-climbing thing.  
“I gotcha. Don’t worry.” Nick chuckled.   
“Okay. Here I go.” Zak said, more for his own benefit than for Nick’s. 

He stepped up, allowing Nick to lift him up the wall. He grabbed on tight, boosting his body up and over the edge. He let out a sigh of relief once he was safely at the top. Readying himself, he stretched his arms out as Nick ran toward the wall, running his feet up the side and grabbing for Zak’s hands.   
Zak grabbed hold of the younger man, helping him as he climbed up to join him at the top. Nick swung his leg over, sitting to face him as he had the last time they were here. Nick looked just as handsome, moonlight reflecting in his eyes, and Zak couldn’t help the smile that spread over his face.

“What?” Nick asked, mirroring Zak’s grin.   
“Nothin’,” Zak said, hands finding Nick’s legs. “I’ve just been waiting a long time for this.”  
Nick smiled softly, leaning in closer as his chocolate brown eyes searched Zak’s for any hint of hesitation. Zak met him halfway, closing the gap between them and bringing their lips together. Nick kissed him deliberately, hands coming to Zak’s face as their lips found their rhythm.

Zak’s stomach flipped again and again, drawing him closer to the younger man. Nick’s lips were soft and delicious as Zak took them, one at a time, between his own, biting down softly as he tasted the sweet flesh. Nick groaned his approval, arms wrapping around Zak’s waist and pulling him in. Zak complied, wrapping his legs around Nick as he crawled up into the younger man’s lap, lips never leaving Nick’s. 

Zak was only somewhat aware of the distance between them and the ground as their bodies wrapped around each other on the narrow ledge. He felt secure in Nick’s arms, giving over completely as the younger man’s lips moved down his neck, setting his skin on fire. His own hands moved over Nick’s back and arms, studying the dips and curves of the lean muscle.   
Zak brought his lips to Nick’s once more, kissing him long and deep before pulling back to press their foreheads together as he worked to catch his breath. 

“ _That_ ,” Nick breathed, “was worth the wait.”  
Zak smiled, a soft and breathy chuckle escaping his lips. His body was still buzzing. It had been a while since he’d kissed anyone, but he was pretty sure he’d never been kissed like that.   
“And you didn’t even fall this time.” Nick smirked.   
Zak let out an embarrassed chuckle, pressing his forehead into Nick’s shoulder. Nick laughed too, shoulders shaking as his hands ran up and down Zak’s arms.   
“Well, if I’d known kissing you was gonna be like _that_ , I would’ve saved myself the bruises the first time around.”   
Nick smiled, taking Zak’s face in his hands and pressing their lips together softly. “Mmm…” he said, pulling back. “I don’t think I’m ever gonna get tired of that.”   
Zak smiled bashfully, his cheeks sprouting an angry red. 

“Well, we should probably get down before someone sees us.” Nick said, finger brushing aimlessly over Zak’s cheek.   
“Yeah, okay.” Zak said, reluctantly climbing from Nick’s lap and clutching the wall as he sat back on it. “I hate this part.”  
“Don’t worry, I’ll help you.” Nick said with a quick smile before hopping down from the wall and landing easily at the bottom. “It’s really not as far as it looks.”  
“Talk to me after you fall off it.” Zak snarked.   
“Come on…” Nick coaxed, hands stretched up toward Zak. “I gotcha.”

Zak shifted, lowering himself down the side of the wall. His arms shook with some mixture of fear and exertion, but he soon felt Nick grab him securely around the waist, easing him the rest of the way down.   
“See, that wasn’t so bad.” Nick said, planting Zak’s feet firmly on the ground and spinning the older man to face him.  
“Coulda been worse.” Zak agreed. Although with Nick’s arms still around him, it wasn’t exactly a fair assessment.   
“Should we go check in on Mr. Murphy?”   
“Yeah.” Zak said, almost forgetting the reason for the trip.   
And just like that, nerves overtook him. He wasn’t sure what to expect from Mr. Murphy this time. His sadness had been unbearable, and Zak couldn’t imagine being stuck like that, alone and heartbroken. He hoped that when they got there, they’d find that Mr. Murphy had somehow already crossed over, but he knew it wasn’t likely. 

“You good?” Nick asked, arm coming to Zak’s back and wrapping around his hip as they walked.   
“Just preparing myself.” Zak said.   
“You sure you wanna do this?”  
“I’m sure. I have to.” Zak said truthfully. “If there’s a chance I can help…”  
Nick smiled wide, pulling Zak’s body close and pressing a quick kiss to his temple. “Well, then I’m right here. Just tell me what to do.”  
“Okay.” Zak nodded, nerves subsiding a bit.   
Soon they stood in front of the stone structure. It looked bigger tonight, more ominous now that Zak knew the pain residing within its walls.   
“You feeling anything?” Nick asked, studying Zak closely.   
“Not yet.” Zak said. “I wanna try talking to him first. Did you bring the spirit box?”  
“Yeah.” Nick reached in his pocket, handing Zak the device. 

He switched it on, hearing the familiar static of the device sweeping through the stations.   
“Mr. Murphy? I came back to talk to you. I hope you don’t mind.” He waited quietly, giving the spirit a chance to find his voice. “I didn’t introduce myself properly the last time. I’m Zak and this is Nick. We were hoping to talk to you if you wanted.” He paused again, eyes finding Nick’s in the dark. 

“Help.” a male voice said, coming through the speaker.   
“Help? Yes! We want to help.” Zak said excitedly. “We know what happened to you, Mr. Murphy. I saw it, and I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine what you must be feeling.”  
“Des...pair.” The voice croaked out.   
“Yes, despair.” Zak nodded. “Exactly.”  
There was a long pause, and Zak worried Mr. Murphy wasn't looking to talk. But soon the device crackled, and the familiar voice spoke out once more.   
"We...are the same.”   
Zak’s brows furrowed in confusion. “The same? I don’t understand.”  
“He could feel it.” Nick said quietly. 

Zak looked toward the younger man, needing more of an explanation.  
“He could feel your despair about Jason.” Nick explained.  
“Oh.” Zak said, eyes lowering. He hadn’t realized the connection went both ways, that Mr. Murphy could sense his pain as well. But so much of that was gone now, and he wanted to make sure Mr. Murphy and Nick both knew that. “Yes, I guess we were the same.” he admitted. “But things are different now, Mr. Murphy. I’m happy again.” He said, eyes finding Nick’s. “I found a way to be happy again and I want to do the same for you.” he said, taking Nick’s hand in his own. “We want to do the same for you. Will you let us help?” 

They paused, waiting for a reply as Nick squeeze Zak’s hand in his own, bringing it to his lips to place a quick kiss to his knuckles. Zak smiled back at the younger man, resisting the urge to capture those lips again. Later. They were working right now.   
“Are you still there, Mr. Murphy?” Zak called.   
“Change.”  
“Yeah, I have changed.” Zak nodded. He could feel it now, Mr. Murphy’s spirit tapping around the edges of his mind, curiosity getting the best of him. “Do you want to see?” he asked, releasing Nick’s hand and stepping closer to the mausoleum. He placed his hands on the wall, feeling that unmistakable connection, like two magnets sliding together with a snap. 

His heart dropped into his stomach as the sadness swept over him like a wave. The loss was overwhelming, but he forced his mind to stay clear. These weren’t his emotions, they were Mr. Murphy’s. He needed to focus, to show him that there was more to his existence than loss.

He felt tears in his eyes, as he saw them dancing at their wedding. Felt the way her back curved to fit his hand perfectly, the smell of her perfume filling the space around them. Zak knew how this ended now and the tears rolled down his cheeks as he walked through the dark hallways of their house, so empty now that she was gone. Now that he was alone. He was slipping again, following Mr. Murphy into the darkness of his mind and he fought to stay afloat. To remember who he was and why he was here. 

Just then he registered the warm hand moving along his back. Nick’s hand. He heard the quiet whispered reassurances as they moved through his ears and into his bloodstream, lighting him up. And this time he saw his own memories. Locking eyes with Nick the first night they’d met, feeling his face pull to that automatic smile that always accompanied the younger man. The smell of hot chocolate spiked with whiskey and the bite of the cold against the tip of his nose. Nick’s arms around him, pulling him in as the music moved through the soles of his feet. These were _his_ memories. And they were happy ones.

Zak breathed, feeling the tension in his shoulders release as the connection with Mr. Murphy broke. He felt lightness in the release. Hope. He slumped over, exhausted and emotionally drained.   
“Zak?” Nick called, reaching out to steady him as he slid down to the ground. “Are you okay?” Nick kneeled in front of him, taking hold of his face with both hands to look into his eyes. “Zak? Can you hear me?”  
Zak looked into those brown eyes, practically liquid in the moonlight, dark and inviting. And he felt himself smile. 

“You’re okay.” Nick said, breathing a sigh of relief as he pressed his forehead to Zak’s “What happened?”  
“He’s gone.” Zak said. “I think he’s gone.”  
“How?” Nick asked, taking a seat against the wall.   
“I don’t know exactly.” Zak admitted. “He was showing me his memories again. And I could feel his emotions running through me, pulling me in…they were so sad. I thought I was gonna get lost in them, but then I felt you. You were there next to me, comforting me, and I remembered why I was here.”  
Nick smiled softly, taking Zak’s hand.   
“So then the memories changed. It was you and me. And I felt so happy. And I think Mr. Murphy could feel it too. And then he just, sort of, let go.”  
“You did it.” Nick grinned.   
“I couldn’t have done it without you.”  
Nick shook his head. “You don’t give yourself enough credit, Zak. You’re amazing. And you have a real gift. You don’t need me to use it.”

Zak smiled as warmth spread through his body. He’d spent so long thinking of his abilities as a curse, driving a wedge between him and Jason. But Nick always insisted it was a gift, one that Zak should embrace.  
“Maybe I don’t need you to use it, but I like having you here with me.” He said, bringing their intertwined hands to rest in his lap. “You make me feel like I can do things I’ve been too afraid to try on my own.” 

Nick locked his eyes on Zak, leaning in to press their lips together. The kiss was soft and tender and swimming with emotion. Zak sank into it, heart pounding, threatening to beat its way right out of his chest. He ached to be closer to Nick, to pull him in until there was no space left between them.   
“Let’s get out of here.” Zak said, breathing in the younger man’s warmth.   
Nick nodded, smile spreading across his face as he took Zak by the hand and lead the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to post this chapter! I was on vacation with no wifi. But I'm back and I hope the chapter was worth the wait! Thanks so much for reading!!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zak and Nick settle into their new relationship.

Zak’s skin buzzed as he lay there catching his breath. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt this totally and completely satisfied. His legs were bricks, still shaking slightly from his release, but that didn’t stop his hands and lips from wandering across Nick’s warm skin. He kissed a line up the younger man’s ribs as a strong hand ran aimlessly along his own back. 

“You keep doing that, I’m gonna be ready for another round soon.” Nick chuckled, giving Zak a sleepy smile, eyes half-lidded and swimming.  
Zak breathed a quiet laugh, burying his head into Nick’s side. “Sorry, I can’t seem to stop touching you.”  
“Who’s complaining?” Nick asked, smile turning sly on his lips.   
“You can barely keep your eyes open.” Zak chuckled.   
“Oh, I could keep ‘em open for _that_.” Nick assured him.

Zak chuckled, feeling his stomach flip at the promise. Nick’s natural enthusiasm was something that, to Zak’s great pleasure, transferred directly into the bedroom. Nick knew what he was doing and he did it well.   
“But you must be exhausted after that whole Mr. Murphy thing.” Nick said.   
“I am.” Zak admitted. “But I’m invigorated too, you know?”  
“Yeah, sex does that.” Nick chuckled.   
“It does.” Zak grinned, bringing his lips to Nick’s for a simple kiss. “Especially sex with you.”  
Nick’s cheeks sprouted pink as he ran a hand over Zak’s cheek. “Did I tell you how happy I am that you asked me out tonight?”   
“You might have mentioned it once or twice.” Zak grinned.   
“Well, I am.” Nick said, grip growing tighter around Zak’s waist. “I don’t remember feeling this happy in a long time.”  
“That’s the sex.” Zak chuckled.   
“No, it’s not.” 

Zak felt his face flush as his lips curled into a smile. Nick always had a way of catching him off guard.   
“So, you’re gonna stay over, right?” Zak asked timidly. He couldn’t handle the thought of waking up to find Nick gone.  
“If it’s okay with you.” Nick said. “I’d rather not move from this spot.”   
“Good.” Zak nodded happily, wrapping himself around the younger man. “I want you to stay. I wanna make you breakfast in the morning.”  
“I thought you said you couldn’t cook.” Nick smirked.   
“Anyone can cook eggs...and cereal.”

Nick laughed, shaking Zak’s body as the sound rose from his stomach. “You do know cereal isn’t cooking, right?”  
“Hey, If it involves mixing more than one item together, it’s cooking in my book.”   
“Well, cereal and eggs sound great.” Nick said, pressing a kiss on the top of Zak’s head. “I have a feeling I’m gonna need the energy to keep up with you.”

Zak chuckled quietly, feeling his body relaxing into the warmth of Nick’s skin against his. It had been so long since he’d slept with the comfort of a warm body next to his, and already, he could feel his eyelids drooping.   
“Mmm hmm...” he mumbled softly.  
“You falling asleep?” Nick asked, hand running over Zak’s back.  
“Mmm hmm.”  
“Okay.” Nick said, arms wrapping firmly around Zak’s body. “See you in the morning.”

 

Zak’s eyes popped open. It felt like he’d been asleep for days. The sun was high in the sky, and it took him a moment to remember where he was. His smile turned to a frown as he rolled over to find the bed empty. There was a scrap of paper on the pillow and his heart sank into his stomach as he reached across the bed to grab it.   
_Come to the kitchen_  
Relief washed over him as a grin spread across his lips. Nick hadn’t left after all. 

He sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he assessed his hair in the mirror. He grimaced, working to smooth his unruly bed head into something a bit more reasonable. He did a quick breath check. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t great either. He popped a piece of gum, chewing it quickly before spitting it into the trash can.   
He looked in the mirror, as ready as he could be, he made his way to the kitchen. He could hear the sounds of pots and pans clanking and the aroma of hot coffee filled the air. 

Nick’s face lit up as he rounded the corner into the kitchen.   
“There you are! I thought you were gonna sleep all day.” he said, making his way toward Zak and pressing a kiss to his lips.   
Zak wrapped his arms around the younger man’s neck, keeping him close.   
“What are you doing? I told you I was gonna make you breakfast.”  
“I know.” Nick said, “but I thought it might be fun to make it together.”

Zak looked around, noticing ingredients lining the countertop.  
“Did you go shopping?” he chuckled.   
“Just for a few things...I had to bribe your neighbor to let me back in the building.”  
“Ken?” Zak asked, grin spreading. “What’d you give him?”  
“A box of donuts.” Nick chuckled. “I couldn’t find your keys and I didn’t wanna wake you up.”   
“You could have. I would’ve gone with you.”  
“Nah, You looked way too peaceful.”  
“That was one of the best sleeps of my life.” Zak admitted.   
“Me too.” Nick said, arms wrapping tighter around Zak’s waist. “Waking up wasn’t too bad either.”  
Zak smiled at him, feeling that pull again, drawing him that much closer to the younger man.   
“I especially loved your hair.” Nick added with a smirk. 

Zak’s hand shot up as an embarrassed chuckle escaped his lips, but Nick caught him by the wrist.   
“No. Don’t fix it. It’s cute.”  
Zak complied, lowering his hand back to Nick’s shoulder, “So, what’s for breakfast?”  
“Whatever you want.” Nick said. “I got stuff to make just about anything. Omelettes, pancakes, hash browns…”  
“And you want _me_ to cook these things?” Zak asked, eyebrow quirked.  
“No, I want _us_ to cook together. I’ll show you. It’s really not that hard.”   
“Well, clearly you haven’t seen me burn a can of soup.”  
Nick laughed and Zak took a moment to admire the way it lit up those chocolate eyes.   
“It’ll be fun, I promise.”   
“Yeah, okay. Pancakes do sound pretty good.”  
“Pancakes it is.” Nick said, excitedly pulling Zak toward the counter. “Now, the secret to good pancake batter is melted butter.”  
“Should I be writing this down?”   
“No.” Nick chuckled. “I’m gonna help. So, why don’t you cut two tablespoons of butter and get that melting on the stove?”  
“Okay. I can do that.” Zak said, feeling fairly confident in his task.   
“Great, I’m gonna measure out the dry ingredients.”  
“With what?”  
“You don’t have measuring cups?” Nick gawked.  
“When would I ever use measuring cups, Nick?”   
“Fair enough.” Nick chuckled. “No worries. I’ve got an okay eye for measurements.”

Zak got to work melting the butter while Nick measured out the other ingredients. Then Zak whisked while Nick drizzled the wet ingredients into the dry. And Zak couldn’t help but think this was a lot more work than the box mix his mom used to make.   
“Now, we need to let this sit for a few minutes so everything can come together.” Nick explained. “In the meantime, I know I’m gonna want some bacon to go with these.”  
“Mmm...that sounds good.” Zak agreed.   
He watched as Nick unwrapped the bacon, laying it in the hot pan to sizzle away.   
“So, do you cook for all your boyfriends?” Zak asked casually. Truthfully, he didn’t know much about Nick’s romantic history and he was curious.  
“No.” Nick said, “I dated a chef for a while and he did most of the cooking.”  
“Oh.” Zak said, feeling a sudden and unexpected wave of jealousy. “That must have been...nice.”  
“It was for a while.” Nick shrugged. “But he was really focused on work, not a lot of time for relationships. Still, it was some of the best food I’ve ever had.”   
“I bet.” Zak said, trying not to feel completely inferior.   
“But I’d take great sex over good food any day.” Nick smirked, pulling Zak in by the hips. “And that’s only one of your many, amazing attributes.”

Zak smiled, successfully charmed out of his sour mood - one of Nick’s many, amazing attributes.  
Nick cupped Zak’s face in his hands, pressing quick kisses to his lips before giving him a quick smack on the ass and turning back to the stove to flip the bacon.   
“These are about done. I think we can get going on the pancakes.”  
“Oh, okay. I’ll grab another pan.” Zak said, opening the cupboard.   
“No need.” Nick said. “Let’s cook them in the bacon grease.”  
“You can do that?” Zak asked, surprised and intrigued.   
“Sure.” Nick said. “They taste amazing that way. Just gotta take some of this grease out first.” He reached for an empty beer can, removing the bacon from the pan before carefully pouring some of the hot grease into the can.  
“I feel like I’m learning so much already.” Zak said with a smile.   
“I take my breakfast very seriously.”  
“I can see that.” Zak chuckled.   
“I’ve just got one very important, relationship defining question for you.”  
“Okay?” Zak said, eyebrows raised.   
“Do you, or do you not want chocolate chips in your pancakes?” he asked, raising the bag.  
“Always.” Zak grinned. 

 

Zak dug into the gooey chocolate chip pancakes, enjoying the way the melted chocolate oozed from the center.   
“I’m pretty sure this pancake is ninety percent chocolate.” Zak chuckled.  
“You asked for extra chips.” Nick said, cutting into his own stack.   
“I know, I just didn’t realize what your idea of ‘extra’ was.” Zak chuckled, shoving a large bite into his mouth. “Oh my God…” he mumbled, mouth still full of sweet, sticky chocolate. “These are the best pancakes I’ve ever had.”  
“I told you...it’s the bacon grease.” Nick chuckled, forking a bite for himself.   
“They’re so fluffy…” Zak said, shoving another bite in his mouth.   
“See, cooking isn’t that hard.” Nick said.   
“Well, you did most of the work.” Zak admitted. “And the ones I made look terrible.”  
“That’s why we put yours at the bottom of the stack.” Nick said with a wicked grin.   
Zak laughed, noticing the way his pale pancakes had been discreetly tucked under Nick’s perfectly golden ones.   
“They still taste good.” Nick assured him.   
“Don’t patronize me.” Zak joked.   
Nick chuckled, smirking at him. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”   
Zak lifted his coffee to his lips, glaring at Nick over the side of the mug. But he couldn’t hide the smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. He was happy. Being with Nick like this felt so good, so natural. 

“So, I have to tell you something.” Nick said, voice uneasy.   
Zak could see the worry in his eyes, and he felt his stomach jump into his throat.  
“Okay?”  
“Remember the night we met...when you were telling me about Ruth?”  
“My Ruth? From when I was a kid?” Zak asked, admittedly confused about where this was going.   
“Yeah…” Nick said, eyes shifting nervously. “Well, I just couldn’t stop thinking about that. And I got...curious.”  
“Yeah?”  
“Well, I just can’t imagine going through life not knowing if your imaginary friend was real or not, you know? And the way you described her, it seemed like she was really important to you.”  
“She was.” Zak admitted. 

“So, I really hope you’re not mad...but I did a little research.”  
“You did?” Zak asked, feeling his heart rate rise.   
Nick nodded. “Do you wanna know?”  
“Yes!” Zak said. “I mean, I think so.” He wasn’t sure what he wanted to hear. Ruth had felt so real to him as a child. A part of him couldn’t stand the thought that she might have just been a figment of his imagination. The other part of him was still a little uneasy about the whole thing and what it meant about him.   
“It's your call.” Nick said.  
“Yeah. I wanna know. Tell me.” Zak said, wringing his hands together.   
“Okay. If you’re sure.”  
“I am.” Zak said, heart pounding in his chest. 

“Well, Ruth was a real person. You weren’t imagining her.”  
Zak released a breath, relief washing over him. He had wanted her to be real.   
“Her name was Ruth Gibbons.”  
“Gibbons…” Zak muttered, still working to grasp the situation. “Did she die in the house?”  
“She did.” Nick nodded.   
“I thought so.” Zak said, sadly. He remembered the emotions that radiated from Ruth when he’d first met her. She was sad, yes. But there was also something about her, something protective. Like she was guarding the house and anyone in it. 

“There was an article about her in the neighborhood paper. I printed a copy for you if you want it. There’s a picture.”  
“Yes.” Zak said. “Thank you.”   
“Listen, I know this was probably a little invasive.” Nick said, rubbing at the back of his neck. “I didn’t do it to be nosey, or creepy or anything.”  
“Why’d you do it?” Zak asked, eyes meeting Nick’s.  
“I did it because...I care about you. And I wanted you to know that your feelings are valid and important. It just seems like you haven’t always had the kind of support you deserve, and I wanted to make sure you knew that the support you felt from Ruth was real.” Nick said, eyes swimming with sincerity. “But if I overstepped a boundary…”  
“No.” Zak said, smile spreading over his lips. “You didn’t.” He reached out to take Nick’s hand in his own. “I didn’t realize how much it would mean to me to know that Ruth was real. I guess I was always just too scared to find out for myself, you know?”  
“I get that.” Nick nodded.  
“And I never had anyone who understood my... _whatever this is_ , the way you do.”  
“You’re an empath, Zak. It’s a gift.”  
“I didn’t always see it that way.” Zak said truthfully.   
“I know, but I wanted you to.” Nick said with a soft smile. “That’s why I did this.”  
“Thanks Nick.”   
“It was just a little research.” He shrugged.  
“No, it’s more than that.” Zak said, voice sincere. “You gave me something I didn’t even realize I needed.”  
“Funny,” Nick said, bringing Zak’s hand to his lips. “I could say the same about you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEART EYES. These two are the sweetest. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! More to come! Thanks so much for continuing to read and comment.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Zak and Nick settle into their relationship, an unexpected event threatens to tear them apart. (I'm so bad at these...please still read it.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This final chapter is a doozy! Please enjoy!

The hot water pounded against Zak’s shoulders. The steam felt nice, loosening his muscles. He closed his eyes, letting his mind wander to Nick the way it did most of the time these days.

He smiled, remembering the feel of the younger man’s hands, so warm and soft against his skin. He could still taste Nick’s lips on his, feel the warmth of his breath as it ghosted along his neck. He sighed as he remembered the whispered words against his ear and the way they made his skin buzz with desire.

He exhaled, working to collect himself as he squeezed some shampoo into his hands. No need to let his imagination run away with him. He worked his hair into a lather, massaging the suds across his scalp as his heart rate returned to normal. 

It had only been a few weeks since he’d officially started dating Nick but the intensity of his feelings for the younger man shocked him. From their first kiss, Zak dove right in, headfirst. It was so easy with Nick. He had already been such an important part of Zak’s life, a support system he hadn’t realized he’d needed. And now that he had it, he couldn’t imagine letting it go. 

“Babe, did you fall in?” Nick called from the doorway.  
“What? Oh, sorry. I’m almost done.” Zak said, quickly rinsing his hair. “The hot water feels so good.”  
“I thought maybe after you get dressed, we could go grab some lunch?”  
“Yeah, that sounds good.” Zak said, stepping out of the shower and grabbing for his towel.  
Nick smirked, giving Zak an appreciative once-over.  
“Then again, maybe you don’t get dressed and we stay in instead.”

Zak smiled bashfully, wrapping the towel around his waist.   
“You have too much energy.” he said, unable to hide his flattered smirk. Nick was insatiable, but Zak didn’t mind one bit.   
“I can’t help it.” Nick said, moving closer to wrap his arms around Zak’s hips. “You’re pretty irresistible.”   
Zak brought his lips to Nick’s feeling his stomach jump as their mouths connected. 

Nick kissed him slowly, hands running over his damp skin, leaving goosebumps behind. Zak felt as though he would melt into a puddle right then and there. Nick pulled back, pressing a kiss to the tip of Zak’s nose and pulling a smile from the older man.   
“You make me really happy.” Nick said, pulling back to look him in the eyes.  
Zak felt the smile spread across his cheeks. He leaned in, pressing a quick kiss to to Nick’s lips.   
“Okay, you better get some clothes on, or I’m not gonna want to leave this apartment.” Nick said with a chuckle as he made his way toward the door.   
“Nick,” Zak said, stopping the younger man in his tracks, “you make me really happy too.”  
“Good.” Nick said, beaming back. “I’m glad.” He brought Zak’s hand to his lips, kissing it softly before making his way from the room. 

Zak took a second to soak in the warmth radiating through his body. And then he turned toward the mirror to assess his hair. He squeezed a bit of product into his hands, rubbing the creamy gel through his wet hair when he heard a knock on the front door.   
“Nick, can you get that?” Zak called, wondering if his neighbor, Ken, locked himself out again.   
“Sure.” Nick called from the kitchen, padding his way toward the door.   
Zak finishing adding the last of the product to his hair, reaching for the blow dryer. 

“Um, Zak, it’s for you.” Nick called.   
His voice sounded strange and Zak made his way to the living room still wrapped in his towel.  
“What is it?” He asked, as he rounded the corner and came face-to-face with the last person he expected to see.   
“Jason…” he muttered, heart dropping into his stomach like an anvil.  
“Hi.” Jason said quietly, eyes boring into Zak’s.   
Zak stood frozen, a million questions running through his head, but he couldn’t make his mouth form the words. And all the while, he felt Nick’s eyes on him, sadly searching him for answers he didn’t have.   
“Sorry for just showing up like this.” Jason said, shooting glances in Nick’s direction.   
“What are you doing here?” Zak asked, finally finding his words.   
“I wanted to see you. To talk to you.” Jason said, taking a step through the doorway.

Zak felt Nick’s body tense at his side, clearly fighting the urge to stop Jason in his tracks.   
“Well, that’s a first.” Zak said, his words dripping with sarcasm.   
“I know…” Jason said, inching toward him. “I’m sorry. Please, just let me explain?”  
Zak looked in Nick’s direction and the younger man’s eyes searched his, checking to make sure Zak was okay. Checking to see if this meant the end for them.   
Zak nodded in a way that he hoped was reassuring, and Nick’s eyes lowered somberly to the ground.   
“Why don’t I give you two some privacy.” Nick said, voice barely audible as he grabbed for his coat and headed toward the door.  
“Nick...” Zak said, but the younger man couldn’t look at him. “I’ll call you later, okay?”   
“Yeah. Okay…” Nick said, uncertainty clouding his voice. 

Zak could feel the pain radiating from Nick's body and his eyes stung with the tears the younger man held back. He wanted to take him into his arms and tell him everything would be fine, but didn’t know if that was true. 

The truth was, he was confused. And a part of his heart jumped at the sight of Jason in his doorway. It was an sight he’d imagined over and over in his mind for so many months, and now it had actually happened and he wasn’t sure what to do.   
Nick turned to leave, eyes finding Zak’s as he pulled the door closed behind him. Zak pinched his eyes closed, absorbing the wave of guilt twisting at his insides.   
“So, Nick, huh?” Jason said, shifting in his spot.  
“Yeah…”  
“And he’s your… _boyfriend_ or something?”  
“He is.”  
“But here you are with me.” Jason said, stepping in a bit closer.  
“Because you showed up at my door.” Zak said, suddenly feeling defensive. “Out of the blue. After months of silence.”  
“I know…” Jason said. “I’m so sorry, Zak. I wasn’t thinking. I didn’t realize what a good thing I had.”  
“Only took you most of year to figure it out.” Zak practically spat.   
“No...I figured it out a while ago. I just couldn’t work up the courage to come and see you after how I’d treated you.”  
“And yet here you are.”  
“Yeah.” Jason said, moving in until they were only inches apart. “Here I am. I couldn’t stand not seeing you, Zak. I miss everything about our life together. I miss our lazy Saturday mornings, reading the paper and eating cereal. I miss laying on the couch with your head on my chest, watching terrible movies. I miss the way your hair smells when you’re just out of the shower.” he said, bringing a hand to Zak’s wet hair.   
Zak didn’t move to pull away, and Jason continued. 

“And I know I don’t deserve...anything from you, but I’m asking you to please forgive me. And to please give me another chance. I’ll do anything, Zak, I swear.”  
“Jason…”  
“We’re good together, me and you. And you know it.” he said, hands coming to rest on Zak’s arms. “And no matter how much of an ass I was, _and I know I was an ass_ , me and you make sense together.”  
“We did.”  
“We still do.” he said, resting a hand on Zak’s cheek. “Tell me you don’t still feel something here. I knew it the second you saw me. I could see it in your eyes and so could Nick.”  
“Don’t.” Zak said, feeling a stabbing pain at the mention of the younger man’s name,   
“It’s him, isn’t it? He’s the reason you’re holding back? You’ve known him for what, a month or two? Zak, I’ve known you and loved you for years.”

Jason had always been good at talking Zak into things, making him question himself. At times he’d found it charming, but right now it only confused him.   
“What about all that time you spent ignoring my calls and texts? Did you love me then?” Zak asked defiantly.  
“I did. And I always will, Zak. I’m never gonna stop hating myself for the months we’ve lost because of me, but we don’t need to lose any more.” He ran his hand over Zak’s cheek, lips inches apart. “Just come home. Or I’ll move here. I don’t care where I am, as long as I’m with you.”  
“You’d really move here?” Zak asked, feeling himself getting swept up in the closeness and the sincerity in Jason’s eyes.  
“I’d live in a box with you, Zak. That’s what I’m trying to tell you.”  
Zak lowered his gaze. He needed a second to think, to take back control of his own mind without those eyes staring right into him.  
“Don’t you miss me?” Jason asked.  
“Of course I do.” Zak admitted. It was the truth, and there was no point in denying it. Jason had been a part of his life for so long, it was impossible _not_ to miss him.  
“Then what’s the problem? I don’t understand. Do you love this Nick guy or something?”  
“That’s none of your business.”   
“That sounds like a ‘no’.”   
“It’s not a ‘no’.” Zak said defensively. “My feelings for Nick are between me and him. And I’m not interested in telling you something I haven’t even told _him_ yet.”

Jason’s face fell and Zak knew that no matter what he did, someone he cared about was going to get hurt.  
“Do you love me?” Jason asked with the voice of a wounded animal.  
Zak sighed, feeling the weight of his words. “I think a part of me is always gonna love you.”  
“But are you still _in love_ with me?”   
“I don’t know.” Zak said truthfully.   
Jason nodded sadly, hands coming up to rest on Zak’s cheeks. “Well, let’s find out.” he said, pulling Zak in until their lips met. 

Jason kissed him hard and fast, his hands moving desperately along the expanse of exposed skin before him. Zak thought about pulling away, but the last time they’d kissed, he hadn’t known it would be the last time and he’d spent countless hours trying to remember how it had felt, if he should have seen the breakup coming. If Jason still loved him. And so he kissed him back instead, letting the feeling wash over him. 

The kiss was good. Jason’s lips were soft and rough against his own as he pulled Zak in closer, cupping his lower back the way he always had. It used to comfort him, but now something felt different. He could blame it on the time apart or the betrayal of his trust, but the truth was, he didn’t think he felt the same anymore. And Nick’s face played through his mind as he pulled himself from the kiss.

“Jason, I can’t. I’m sorry.”  
“What’s wrong?” he asked, trying to keep Zak’s body close.   
“I still have it, you know.” Zak said. “It hasn’t gone away.”  
“Still have what?”  
“My...gift.” He forced himself to say it that way. The way Nick encouraged him to. “I still feel emotions that aren’t mine. I still communicate with dead people. None of that has changed. It’s getting stronger too. It’s not just spirits anymore.”  
“That’s something we can learn to deal with.” Jason protested.   
Zak shook his head, “It’s not something to _‘deal with’_. It’s something I should embrace. Something I can be proud of... Nick and I helped someone crossover. A man who was stuck here, grieving the loss of the love of his life and we helped him find peace. It was amazing. And I wouldn’t have done it without Nick. Because before him, I thought my abilities were a curse, a curse that tore us apart, that made you stop loving me... But now I realize it’s actually one of the best things about me. So, there’s no way you could really love me unless you can love that part of me.”

He hadn’t meant to say any of it. He didn’t even know he felt that way until the words poured from him. Jason stood, quietly watching as Zak wrapped his brain around what he’d just said.  
“But...I do love you.” Jason said after a moment.  
“You love who I was.” Zak said, lightly touching Jason’s hand. “But I’m not that guy anymore. And I’m not willing to hide that part of myself. Not for anyone.”  
“Maybe I could try to live with it?” Jason said. “I don’t want to lose you.”  
 _You already have._ Zak thought to himself. He could see it so clearly now.   
“I’m sorry, Jason.” he said, putting some space between them. 

Jason lowered his head, nodding silently in defeat.   
“Does he treat you well?” he asked, eyes swimming as they found Zak’s again.   
“Yes, he does.” Zak said sincerely.  
“And he appreciates what he has?”  
“Yeah, I think he does.”  
“Smart man.” Jason said, lifting his hand to run a finger across Zak’s jawline. “I wish I’d figured that out before it was too late.”  
Zak looked at him, unsure of what to say.   
“Well, I’m glad I at least got to see you one last time.” Jason said, eyes soaking in the view. “Boston agrees with you.”  
“Thanks.” Zak said with a soft smile. “I really like it here.”   
“Good. I’m happy for you.” he said, sincerely. “I’m happy that you’re happy.”  
“You’ll be happy again too.” Zak said. “I know you will.”  
“Yeah...maybe.”  
“You will.” Zak insisted, squeezing his forearm lightly.   
Jason breathed a soft chuckle at Zak’s insistence. “You always were demanding.”  
Zak cracked a smile, relaxing a bit at the ease of the moment. 

“Well, I guess I should probably get going.” Jason said, making his way toward the door. “And you need to call that boyfriend of yours. I’m sure he’s thinking the worst right now.”  
Zak knew that he was, and he couldn’t wait to talk to him and put him at ease.  
“Take care of yourself.” Jason said, leaning in to press a kiss to Zak’s cheek. He lingered a moment before pulling back to look Zak in the eyes.   
“You too, Jason. Please.”   
He nodded in silent agreement. “See ya, handsome.”  
“Goodbye.” Zak said, watching him go. He closed the door, feeling a sting of sadness. But he knew he’d made the right decision. And there was an overwhelming sense of peace in it. A closure he never expected to get.   
But there wasn’t time to dwell on that right now. He needed to get dressed and go find Nick. 

 

“Nick, please pick up your phone.” Zak said to Nick’s voicemail as he stood outside the younger man’s apartment building. He had rang the doorbell three times now with no answer. Either Nick wasn’t home, or he didn’t want to talk to him. 

He couldn’t really blame him after the way Jason had showed up like that. And he hadn’t argued when Nick offered to leave the two of them alone. It couldn’t have felt good to be Nick in that situation. Zak only hoped he could explain it in a way that the younger man would understand. But first he had to find him. 

“Nick, please just tell me where you are. I need to talk to you. It’s not what you think.” he said, leaving a second message as he ran toward the cemetery. He was really nervous now and he dialed Nick a third time, knowing he was bordering on stalker status at this point.   
“Nick, please.” he said, throat constricting as he spoke. He hung up the phone, rounding the corner and into the cemetery. 

This was the first time he’d been here during the day. And the first time he’d entered through the gate without hopping the wall. It took him a moment to get his bearings, but then he made his way toward Nick’s favorite spot. 

He rounded the path and breathed a sigh of relief when he spotted the younger man sitting on their favorite bench, propped up against the giant elm tree where they’d sipped hot cocoa on their first date. So much had happened since then.

Zak jogged over, happy to have found the younger man. He only hoped he could get him to listen. Nick spotted movement from the corner of his eye and jumped, removing his earbuds from his ears.   
“Zak…” he said, face awash with surprise.   
He’d been crying. Zak could tell immediately and the realization twisted at his heart.   
“How’d you know I was here?”  
“You weren’t answering your door...or you phone, so I took a guess.” Zak said, approaching cautiously before taking a seat next to the younger man.  
“My phone was on silent.” Nick said, pulling it from his pocket to see the missed notifications on his screen. “I didn’t think I’d be hearing from you today.”  
“Nick, I’m so sorry.”  
“You don’t have to say it, Zak. I get it.” Nick said, eyes lowering. “I could tell when you saw him.”  
“I shouldn’t have just let you leave like that. I should’ve talked to you first, to explain.”  
“Explain what?” Nick asked. “I knew how you felt about the guy. I’ve known it since we met. And I know I was your second choice in all of this.”  
“That’s not true!” Zak protested.   
“But the worst part is that I didn’t get the chance to tell you that I love you.” Nick said, voice catching. “Because I do. I love you, Zak. And I’ve known it for a while now. And I keep thinking, maybe if I’d said something earlier...maybe I’d have a fighting chance.”

“Nick…” Zak said, feeling his heart swell in his chest.   
“I know it’s too little, too late. But I just wanted you to know.”  
Zak’s stomach flipped, and he leaned in, grabbing the younger man by the nape of his neck and bringing their lips together. Nick hesitated for a moment, clearly taken aback. But then his lips began to move slowly against Zak’s, his hands running along his cheeks as he kissed him softly.   
“I love you too, Nick.” Zak said, breaking for air.  
Nick froze, taking Zak’s face in his hands. “You do?”   
“Of course I do.” Zak said with a smile. “You brought me back to life.”  
Nick smiled sadly, sighing as his thumb brushed wistfully over Zak’s cheek. “Well, at least I’ll always have that.” 

He still wasn’t getting it, and Zak couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face.  
“Well, you got me too, if you still want me.”  
“What?” Nick asked, eyes going wide. “But I thought--”  
“You thought wrong” Zak said with a smirk.  
“I don’t understand…what about Jason?”  
Zak shrugged. “I loved him for a long time. But I realized that he could never really love me back. Not the way you do, because he could never accept that part of me that you showed me how to embrace. Nick, you made me love myself.” he said, hands running over the younger man’s arms. “And when I tried to picture my life without you...it was impossible to imagine. You give me so much, Nick. More than I realized I needed. And now that I know what it’s like to really be loved, I could never go back to what Jason and I had. And I don’t want to. I want to be with you...That is, if you still want me.”

Nick’s face spread into a beaming grin that lit up the chocolate brown eyes Zak had fallen in love with.   
The younger man lunged forward, capturing Zak’s lips. “Of course I do.” he mumbled between kisses.   
Zak chuckled as Nick pressed quick kisses to either of his cheeks before placing a kiss on the tip of his nose.  
“You have no idea how happy I am right now.” he said, pulling Zak in tight against his neck. “When he showed up...I never thought in a million years that you’d choose me.”  
Zak pulled back, surprised as guilt washed over him. “What do you mean? Why would you think that?”  
The younger man shrugged. “I just knew how much you loved him. I didn’t think I could compete with that.”  
“I’m so sorry, Nick. I hate that you felt that way...that you didn’t know what you mean to me.” he said, hand coming to cup the younger man’s cheek. “To think that I could just let you go that easily, after everything…”  
“I’m glad I was wrong.” Nick said with a smirk.   
“You were.” Zak said sincerely, pressing a quick kiss to the younger man’s lips. “So wrong.”

Nick smiled, pulling Zak in and wrapping his arm around the older man’s shoulders. He exhaled contentedly, leaning into the tree trunk behind him.   
“This might be my new favorite place.” Nick said happily.   
“What, this bench?” Zak grinned.   
“This whole cemetery.” Nick said, pulling him in closer. “It’s where I fell in love with you.”  
“It is?” Zak said, smiling happily.   
“Yeah…” Nick said. “I knew I was a goner from the moment you agreed to climb that wall with me.”  
“You _did not_.” Zak teased, unable to keep the flattered smile from his voice.  
“I did.” Nick insisted. “And somehow you turned out to be even more amazing than I expected.”  
Zak smiled, tilting his head to kiss the younger man’s cheek. “I love you,”  
“I know.” Nick grinned down at him. “I’m not sure how I got so lucky.” he said, bringing his lips to meet Zak’s once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE END. 
> 
> I'm so sorry it took me so long to get this final chapter posted! It was a tough one to write for some reason and it ended up being longer than I expected! I hope it was worth the wait! Thanks so much for sticking with this story. All the nice comments and kudos really kept me going.


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